Page 38 of Can't Win 'Em All
I was not expecting what happened next, however. Bill dug in his pocket, came back with his wallet, and fished out a fifty-dollar bill, which he promptly handed over to his wife.
“Thank you.” Patty’s smile was prim as she slid the money into her pocket. To my utter surprise, she crossed to me. “Welcome to the family.” She pulled me into her embrace, allowing me to send a shocked look over her shoulder in Rex’s direction. What exactly was happening here?
“Um…”
“We’re not getting married,” Rex blurted. He was terrible when it came to serious discussions. It was a wonder he managed to be so good at his job. “I proposed, but Ruby said no, so we’re just going to raise the baby as friends. I’ve suggested Rex Jr. and Rexanne as names, but she shot me down. We’re still debating that I guess.”
I was incredulous as I pulled away from his mother and glared at him. “Now I see that I should’ve put together a script.”
He held out his hands. “I’m nervous. I say stupid things when I’m nervous.”
“Obviously.” I licked my lips. When I turned back to the others, I found a variety of expressions waiting for me. “We’re still working out the details.”
“Is this why you didn’t want to say who the father was when you announced you were pregnant?” Zach demanded. He wasn’t actually focused on me, instead shooting daggers in Rex’s direction. “How did this even happen?”
“Well, when a man and woman get really drunk at an engagement party that’s set after the couple have already gotten married,” I started.
Zach’s mouth fell open. “You got pregnant at our engagement party?”
“After,” I replied. “Rex walked me home.”
“Apparently, he did a little more than that.” Zach folded his arms over his chest and continued to scowl at his best friend. “I don’t ever want to hear another word about me marrying your sister. Not in jest. Not when you’re in the mood to poke me. Just never again. I mean … this is so much worse.”
Rex was appropriately apologetic. “I’m sorry. It just happened.” He lowered his voice. “I wanted to leave two hours before I did, but Ruby made me stay.”
“Yes, this is all on me,” I agreed sarcastically, my eyes doing somersaults. “Geez.”
“Actually, I’m pleasantly surprised,” Mom said out of nowhere. “I figured it was some random guy Ruby picked up at a bar. Rex is a far better prospect.” She looked him up and down. “What I don’t understand is why you hid this part of the story until now? It’s been almost two weeks since you announced you were pregnant. Why wasn’t Rex there for the initial info drop?”
“Because he needed time to think,” I replied.
Rex made a strangled sound when his parents swung their laser glares toward him. “It’s not as bad as she makes it sound,” he insisted. “She made me think about it. I didn’t want to think about it.”
“Unbelievable,” Patty muttered before retrieving the money she’d tucked into her pocket and handing it back to Bill, who looked smug.
“What’s going on with the money?” I asked. I couldn’t help myself from being curious.
“Bill and I have a few bets going,” Patty replied. “I bet that Rex wouldn’t be married when he knocked someone up. Bill disagreed. I also bet that Rex would immediately do the right thing under those circumstances, and Bill said otherwise.”
Rex opened his mouth, then shut it. He looked as if he might pass out at any moment.
“I take it you’re done being an idiot.” Bill’s tone was stern as he regarded his son.
“Yes.” Rex nodded. “I didn’t want to be an idiot in the first place. Ruby insisted that I think about it, though. She said that it was necessary.”
“Well, Ruby is a smart woman.” Patty glared at her son. “Other than being stupid enough to procreate with you.” I thought she was done but kept going anyway. “Really, Rex? You had to think about it?”
Before the conversation could spin out of control—and that’s exactly where it was going—I stepped between mother and son. “Since this is going to be an unorthodox situation, I wanted to make sure he was onboard. I’m fine raising a child on my own. Rex wants to be a part of the process, though.”
“Of course he does.” Patty shook her head. “I never doubted that. I just didn’t think he was going to be a moron before getting to that point.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Rex said dryly.
“You’re welcome.” Patty pursed her lips before darting her gaze to my mother. “We should probably put our heads together for a baby shower.”
“Definitely,” Mom agreed. She didn’t look all that surprised that Rex was the father. Perhaps, after the big truth bomb of the actual pregnancy, nothing was ever going to shake her again. “Let’s give it a few weeks to get settled—let these two idiots start figuring things out—and then we’ll clean up whatever mess they make.”
“Hey!” I was understandably affronted. “Why do you think we’re going to make a mess of things?”
