Page 20 of Can't Win 'Em All
“Ruby, would you like to share with the class what’s going on?” Mom prodded in her amiable way. She looked worried. “You look better than you did this afternoon but…” She trailed off. My mother was nothing if not mannered. She wouldn’t come right out and tell me I looked like death warmed over.
“I went to the doctor,” I started. It was the only thing I could think to say.
Mom went rigid. “Omigod. It’s not cancer, is it?” Her hand pressed to the spot over her heart. “If it is, we’ll get you the best treatment money can buy. I don’t care if we have to fly you to Australia for unauthorized treatments, we’ll do it.”
I frowned. “Um … thanks,” I said finally. “I guess.” I tried to picture myself flying to Australia for unauthorized cancer treatments, and it was a very odd image, like a scene from some witch doctor movie. “I don’t have cancer, though.”
“Oh.” Mom exhaled heavily, seemingly relieved. “That’s good. I’m glad you’re in good health.”
“She didn’t say that,” Pearl interjected. “She just said she didn’t have cancer. It could be a heart thing … or menopause. You’re not going through menopause, are you? You’re young, but stranger things have happened.”
“It’s not menopause,” I assured her. Then I frowned. “I’m younger than you. Why would I go through menopause before you?”
Pearl shrugged. “I always figured that being mentally young would keep me physically young. I don’t think I’ll go through menopause until I’m sixty.”
“Oh, well, have at it.” Only Pearl would turn menopause into a competition. “If you want to be the last to go into menopause, you have my permission. It’s not menopause, though.”
Mom’s tone was low and full of warning as she stared me down. “Ruby, I’m a woman on the edge right now. I really need you to tell me what’s going on. I can’t allow you to drag things out any longer. Just … let me know what it is. Do you need a new liver? I always thought Opal would be the one who needed that, but we’ll deal. Someone will be a match and livers totally regenerate.”
She knew a lot about liver transplants. I filed that away to think on later.
Opal glared at her. “Thanks, Mom.”
“You’re welcome, dear.” Mom absently patted Opal’s wrist. Her gaze remained firmly on me. “I need to know what we’re dealing with. I can’t come up with a plan of attack until I know what’s wrong.”
“Okay.” I licked my lips. Why was this so unbelievably hard? “Technically nothing is wrong. I mean, I don’t think you’re going to throw a party—at least not yet—but I’m not dying or anything. I’m not even really sick.”
Mom eyed me with the same stare she unveiled when I was sixteen and got caught making out with one of the security guards in a janitor’s closet. “Ruby, spit it out. You’re not helping matters. This soft peddle is going to give me indigestion, and I think we’ve had enough stomach issues for one day.”
She wasn’t wrong. “I’m pregnant.” The words came out much stronger than I was anticipating. It almost sounded as if I’d shouted them through a megaphone.
Nobody spoke. Everybody just sat in their spot and stared at me as if I’d grown a second head.
“Aren’t you going to say something?” I challenged after several seconds.
Mom blinked so fast I thought her false eyelashes were going to take flight. “I think I misheard you,” was all she managed.
“No, you didn’t.” I shook my head. “I’m pregnant. That’s why I threw up all over Dad today. Where is he by the way? I’m kind of sorry he’s going to miss out on my happy news. If I delivered it the right way to him, I could’ve solved all of our problems with one convenient heart attack.”
That was enough to snap Mom out of her fugue state. “That’s not funny, Ruby.” She clucked her tongue. “We don’t want your father dead. We just want him to go away.”
“I don’t know,” Zach hedged. “I mean … I’m fine either way.”
“Zachary.” Mom murdered him with a single glare, then focused her full attention on me. “You’re pregnant?”
I nodded. “Twelve weeks.”
“Twelve weeks?” She cocked her head. “Who were you dating three months ago?”
This is where the conversation was doomed to go off the rails. “I wasn’t dating anyone per se. It was more of a … drunken mistake.” I reached for a smile and came up short. “He’s not in the picture.”At least for now,I silently added. It wouldn’t be difficult to slide Rex into the mix at a later date if it became necessary. It was best they all adjust to the news first and then go after him if he decided he wanted to be involved.
“So, let me get this straight.” Mom’s tone was icy. She did not sound like a woman who was excited to welcome her first grandchild. I was a little surprised. “Three months ago, you decided to have a one-night-stand and now you’re pregnant. Am I understanding this correctly?” She sounded as if she was interviewing me for a job.
“You are,” I confirmed.
“And you’re not going to tell us who the father is?”
“Not at this time, no.”
