Page 102 of Can't Win 'Em All
“Then what is it about?”
“It’s about … trying.” Was that the right word? It felt like the right word. “We’ve been trying to figure things out from that first night. The attempt counts as long as you’re legitimately trying. The past two weeks have been great, but we actually put in the work long before you finally agreed to go out with me. It’s been an ongoing process.”
“You didn’t know what you wanted at first,” she hedged, clearly uncomfortable. “What if you change your mind?”
“See, that’s not exactly true.” I had to be careful here. I didn’t want to overplay my hand. “I did know what I wanted at first. You were the one who kept telling me to think things through, though. That made me wonder if I was doing something wrong because I didn’t need to think things through.
“I was shocked when you told me the news, don’t get me wrong,” I continued. “I couldn’t believe it was happening. I never truly doubted what I wanted, though. I was always going to be a father to this baby.”
“And what about me?” Ruby pressed. “What did you feel about me in that moment?”
“Um … wasn’t I the one who proposed right away?”
“Oh, give me a break.” Her giggle made me go warm all over. “That wasn’t a serious proposal.”
“Actually, it was. It was, however, for the wrong reasons.”
“Because you thought that we needed to be a family for the baby,” she guessed.
“Yes. That was just the first thing that popped into my head. Once you shut that down it allowed me to think outside the box.”
“And now what do you think?”
“That the next time I propose you’re going to say yes.”
Her mouth fell open. “The next time you propose? How can you be so certain that there’s going to be a next time?”
“I just know.” I brushed her hair away from her face with soft touches. “I want this, Ruby. I want to be parents to this baby. More than that, though, I want to be partners with you.”
“And what if I’m too scared to embrace that right away?”
“Then I’ll wait.”
I thought my response would bring a smile to her face, but she frowned. “Just like that you’ll wait?”
“I already told you I would wait forever.”
“Yes, but people say that all the time. Nobody actually means it.”
“I do. I’m always going to be right here.”
The way her eyes crinkled at the corners told me she was running through a bevy of “what if” scenarios. I let her. Finally, she sighed.
“I need you to promise me something,” she said.
I waited for her to finish it out.
“You can’t propose again until after I’ve had the baby.”
Was I surprised that she’d blurted it out like that? Yes. Was I thrown by what she wanted? Not so much. “Tell me why you don’t want me to propose until after the baby,” I prodded to buy myself time before answering.
“Because it’s too soon.” She was firm. “Also … my hormones are everywhere. I do not want to make the biggest—okay, second biggest—decision of my life when I’m full of hormones. I want a clear head and heart.”
“Okay,” I replied amicably. “I can live with that.”
“Just like that?” She was instantly suspicious. “That seems … unlikely … to me. Normally you like to be in control.”
I gave her a wicked grin. “Um … I believe you were the one driving the stick shift last night.”
