That’s reasonable, and it’s not like I have anything to hide. Most of my life is out there for anyone to find. “As long as we can agree that certain details stay between us,” I add. “I’m sure we both have things that need to remain confidential.”
She nods. “We’ll make that clear up front.”
Works for me. Might be nice to have someone else to dump all the stuff going on in my life on other than Joshua and Amara.
I motion for Stella to continue.
“Rule two: This is an equal partnership.” She levels me with a hardened stare, as if she expects me to reject that. “Neither one of us should have to give up or give more than the other. Our respective careers are important and obviously come before anything, but one isn’t more important.”
I shrug. Don’t see why that needs to be a rule. It’s common sense. “Okay, got it.”
Stella stares at me for a beat, like she can’t believe I’m agreeing so easily. Or maybe she thinks I’m going along with whatever she wants just to get through this now and ignore it later. I’m not and I won’t, but I guess she doesn’t know that.
“Great,” she says slowly. “I only have one more rule.”
Again, I eagerly await her next sensible mandate. It’ll probably be something along the lines oflet’s keep our bank accounts separateorlet’s split spending holidays evenly between our families.
“Number three: No sex.”
I freeze, and then I’m metaphorically stumbling, leaning back in my chair as the words hit. “Excuse me?”
“We’re obviously attracted to each other,” she goes on, like she expected this reaction. She’s stated an undeniable fact considering how she’s been eyeing me and how I can’t get the idea of bending her over this table and finishing what we started the other night out of my head. “But I don’t want to make this more complicated when we eventually walk away from each other.”
“And you think sex would do that?” I push, trying not to sound like an entitled prick who expects his wife to sleep with him. But…Ididexpect that, especially since wanting to fuck each other got us into this in the first place. “Could we have a no-strings situation?”
She shakes her head. “Better safe than sorry. And to add on to that, we should keep all physical intimacy—like touching and kissing—for PDA purposes only. It’s exclusively for selling our relationship to others.”
Someone’s knocked the air right out of my lungs. Was I really that wrong to think this arrangement would be more along the lines offriends with benefitsinstead ofwife I only get to touch when other people are watching?
“Are you planning to be celibate the entire time we’re together?” I challenge. Because this is going to be ayearof our lives.
She clenches her jaw before relaxing again. “Not necessarily.”
“So you’re going tocheaton me?” I sound outraged because Iam. This relationship might not be real to us, but it’s supposedto be to nearly everyone else in the world. Pursuing someone else would ruin that image and put everything at risk. She can’t be serious. She can’t want to make us lookworse.
It’s Stella’s turn to lean back, eyes widening and full lips turning down. “It’s not cheating if we’re not really together. And you’d also be allowed to do whatever or whoever you wanted, as long as you kept it on the down-low.”
“Are you having a fucking laugh?”
It seems like she’s literally about to laugh, because the way her face pinches tells me she’s trying not to crack. “You aresoBritish,” she finally says.
I throw my hands up.
“Okay, okay!” She holds her own hands out in front of her, stopping me from shoving away from the table. “We can put that part on the back burner for now and reassess later, but I really do think the no sex rule is for the best.”
I force myself to blow out a breath and see where she’s coming from. I’m able to separate sex from feelings, but maybe it’s harder for her, and maybe she doesn’t want to risk it after just getting out of a relationship. I can understand that. And I can respect it.
But fuck, it’s going to be a long, complicated year.
“Fine,” I grit out. “No sex. And if we do want to seek out other people, we talk about it first.”
She nods enthusiastically, glad to have me on board. “Exactly. It’s all about communication.”
I say nothing as she toys with her stack of delicate gold necklaces, though before either of us can break the tense silence, her phone buzzes on the table. I catch a glimpse of a calendar notification among dozens of other banners on the screen. My wife is clearly a busy, much-in-demand woman.
“We should merge our calendars,” I suggest, becauseotherwise, I don’t know how I’ll keep up with her schedule on top of mine.
She looks up from the screen, grimacing. “Oh Jesus, we really are married.”
