“Well,” I announce as I attempt to gather my thoughts, silence ringing through the room. “That wasn’t great. But it isn’t as bad as you made it seem.” And it’s true. I’ve seen worse. I’vedoneworse. “I think the most incriminating part is you saying macarons aren’t good. You built a business around them.”
“I know!” she laments, dropping onto the sofa with me. “It’s a bad look all around.”
“Drunkenly screaming about how love isn’t real and men suck isn’t so terrible. I mean, you weren’t wrong about either.”
She slides me a look from the corner of her eye. “You’d really put your whole gender down like that? I can’t believe I’m married to a misandrist.”
I shrug, ignoring her sarcasm because I’m serious. “I’ve just seen enough shitty men do shitty things.”
It’s clear she wants to question that, but she pushes on with her other crimes. “What about the love part? You don’t believe in it?”
“I’ve never been in it. What would I know?”
Again, I see curiosity spark in her gaze even as she tosses another query. “What about me hating the French?”
“Can’t blame you there either. They’re kind of universally hated.”
She elbows me, scowling. “They’re not bad people, and I shouldn’t have said that just because I hateoneFrenchman.”
“Whatever you say.”
She huffs and leans against the cushions, head falling back dejectedly. “But this is why I’ve tried to be on my best behavior lately. Us getting drunkenly married is the cherry on top of all the bullshit I’ve been involved in.”
It’s a hat trick of less-than-great things, though nothing she can’t recover from. “You’re going to be okay, Stella.”
“Maybe,” she mumbles. “But people finding out about theannulment is going to be another blow. Our marriage was irresponsible enough, but separating immediately after? That’s just admitting I massively fucked up.”
The hope that sparks in my chest shouldn’t be there. She’s already given me her answer about not wanting to stay married, and I’m determined to respect it. She saidno, notconvince me.
But is it considered trying to convince her if it really could help the mess she’s in?
“What if you reconsidered my previous offer?” I ask before I can think better of it. “To stay married.”
Her head lifts slowly, eyes cautious as she stares at me. When she doesn’t say anything, I push on, even though my brain is screaming at me to shut up.
“Things were different when this wasn’t public yet,” I rush to explain. “The news coming out has changed the situation. Like you said, it’s going to look worse if we go forward with the annulment now. So…what if we stay married and ride this out together? Would that help you?”
Is it shady to frame it so that my offer is more about her than me? Absolutely. But Idowant to help her, and that flicker of hope is refusing to be extinguished.
Yet there’s a growing rock of guilt along with it, because my own indiscretions haven’t been revealed. Does she know what I’ve done? How hated I am?
“Have you looked me up?” I blurt before she can answer.
She blinks, thrown by the change in direction, then shakes her head. “No. I told myself I didn’t want to know more about you than I already did if we were getting an annulment. A clean break.”
Well. That’s problematic, but she deserves to make an informed decision. I can’t keep this from her.
I pull my phone out of my pocket. “I also have an incriminating video I’d like to show you.”
Stella looks at me like she can’t believe her luck. “Oh no.”
“Oh yes.” I tap at the screen, then reluctantly hand it to her. “Behold, my own personal nightmare.”
I stare at the ceiling as my furious recorded voice rings out through the room. As much as I want to gauge Stella’s reaction, I don’t want to see her horror.
“He could have fucking killed me!”
There’s the crack of my helmet hitting the concrete, heard even over the scream of wheel guns and cars passing in the pit lane. I’m standing in the back of the McMorris garage, barely visible behind a partition leading to where the engineers are set up. When I first saw the video, I couldn’t believe I’d missed someone filming me, because there’s no hiding in those back hallways. I should have seen someone there.
