“Yeah, I could stay,” I say, but even the open answer doesn’t feel quite right.
As we move through the crowds and past the team hospitality motorhomes, Stella asks, “Do youwantto?”
There it is, laid bare. Do I want to stay at McMorris? Could I continue to push down my wants and dreams for that seat? This spark in my chest now reminds me of how badly I wanted a place here back when I was karting. Simply being in F1 wasthe dream, yes, but it was always more than that. It is for everyone before our expectations are tempered by age and experience.
But why temper them now when I could strive for more?
“I want to be a championship contender,” I say loud enough for only us to hear. This time, the words feel right. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get that at McMorris.”
Stella nods in understanding. “Where would you want to go instead?”
We’re about to walk past the Specter Energy motorhome, the navy and neon yellow sign glinting under the floodlights like a beacon. There’s a tug in my chest, like something seeding itself there. It’s a big reach, but…
“I have a few ideas.”
As predicted, I finish where I started.
It’s not bad by any means and it’s a great start to the season. It’s even more satisfying because Arlo finished P11, barely a second behind the driver in front of him, and scored no points. I know I should want better for the team, but honestly, it serves him right.
Stella’s waiting for me in the garage, a green headset around her neck and a wide smile on her face. Her arms drape across my shoulders when I approach, her amusement turning sly, but there’s no missing the pride in her brown eyes.
“God, you’re good,” she says as I wrap my arms around her waist. “You almost had Dev at the start. Forced him to think quick to cut you off. It wasverysexy of you.”
If only I could have held him off, but alas. This season’s Mascort is once again a feat of engineering that only SpecterEnergy can contend with. It won’t stop me from trying again next time, though.
“Still a loser,” I remind her, but I’m grinning back. How could I ever feel like anything less than a prizewinner when I have her? “Have you decided if you’re coming to Jeddah for the next race?”
The last time I asked a few days ago, she said she would double-check her calendar and let me know. Even though we did away with most of her rules, we still keep numbers one and two in place—no secrets, and no one’s career is more important than the other’s. I’d never ask her to stay away for longer than she could reasonably manage, and I’ll always make an effort to be by her side when she needs me to stand there and look pretty.
Stella heaves a sigh, as if she can’t believe I’d ask that. “What did I say about passport stamps, Thomas?”
“That they’re the only reason you married me,” I dutifully reply.
“That’s right.” I get a pat on the chest, quickly followed by one of her intoxicating laughs. “And that’s a stamp I’m missing, so I’m coming with you. Hope you didn’t think you could get rid of me that easily.”
There’s not a moment that could pass where I wouldn’t want her with me. We may have decided to take this at our own pace, to not jump into anything too fast or too soon, but whatever this is—whether you want to call it dating or marriage or simply just a committed relationship—it’s amazing.
“I’d never be so presumptuous,” I say, and even to my own ears it sounds intolerably posh.
Still, it earns me another laugh. “Good. Because I’m not going anywhere.” She pauses. “Well, until you go to Australia, then I’m dipping. That flight’s just too long.”
“Whatever happened to the ends of the earth?” I tease.
Stella leans in, brushing her lips across mine and stealing my breath. “I’m drawing a new map.”
I’d watch her draw one as long as it still led me to her. She could rewrite history too if she promised to still let it pair us together.
“And I’ll be waiting for you,” she goes on. “At home.”
Home.Our house in London where her trophies now sit next to mine. Where the kitchen is full of appliances, both old and new, in her favorite shade of café au lait. Where I hope to always return to the scent of sweet citrus lingering in the air.
“Will you also be waiting with dessert?” I tease, closing the distance for another featherlight kiss.
She’s the one breathless this time. “For you, Prince Charming…I’ll make all the spotted dick you could ever want.”
Epilogue
Stella
