Page 88 of Cross the Line
And Argonaut probably wouldn’t take another season with him either.
‘Can I ask you something?’ I unnecessarily preface. He’ll answer any question I come up with, but I’ve been curious about this for ages. ‘Is there a reason you hate Nathaniel so much? Other than the team always prioritizing him. And him being a dick.’
Dev snickers and finishes off his sandwich. He wipes his hands on a napkin, then opens his mouth like he’s about to answer, but then he closes it again and surveys the patio for a few long seconds.
‘When Buck bought the team,’ he finally begins, ‘he threw this party so he could introduce himself to us. Everyone at Argonaut was excited to welcome him and Nathaniel. Probably because we were desperate for the cash influx. But the team needed new blood anyway.
‘I won’t lie, I was thrilled about the whole thing. More money meant that we might finally be competitive. Plus, Nathaniel had made a name for himself in F2 the year before, and since I wasn’t the one getting pushed out by his arrival, I was happy to have him there.’ Dev gives a short, dry laugh. ‘I should have known better.’
I take his hand in mine, a silent show of support. He curls his fingers around it, but he looks out at the waves when he speaks again.
‘I introduced myself to him and Buck, and he just . . . ignored me,’ Dev says, shaking his head a little like he still can’t believe it. ‘Straight up acted like I wasn’t even there. Buck was the only one who spoke to me, but even that was brief. I caught Nathaniel alone later that night and asked if there was a problem. I don’t remember exactly what he said, but he made it very clear that he had no interest in getting to know me as a friend, acquaintance, or even a teammate. Talked to me like I wasn’t worthy of his attention.’
Dev blows out a heavy breath, finally glancing back over at me. ‘It’s why we rarely do any videos or events together. And when we do, we always have a buffer. I swear we haven’t been alone in a room together since that night. Which is fine. I’m not interested in spending time with people who treat me like that.’
I squeeze his hand, my stomach in knots. No one deserves to be treated that way, especially not Dev. He might as well be the human embodiment of sunshine. ‘I’m sorry that happened,’ I say quietly, intent on lightening the mood again. ‘Okay, so he’s obviously the driver you respect the least out there. Who do you respect the most?’
He sits a little straighter, and his expression brightens. ‘Zaid. Easily. He paved the way for guys like me. Showed me that little brown boys had a place in motorsports. Without him, I don’t know if I would have stuck out the hard times.’
‘And now you’re about to be his teammate. Amazing.’
He side-eyes me. ‘Weren’t youjusttelling me not to jinx it?’
‘You’ll be fine.’ I wave it off, grinning. ‘I’m so proud of you. You’re going to have to get me paddock passes. Ihaveto see you in that car. Hopefully I’ll find a job that gives me vacation time right off the bat.’
His smile wavers for a split second before it comes back at full force, but his eyes have dimmed a fraction. I don’t love the reminder that I’ll no longer be following him around the world either, but he’s the one who already has a plan in place for when it happens. Even still, maybe it hasn’t really hit him that I’ll be returning to my life in New York in just a couple of weeks.
Maybe it’s time to broach that subject, as much as I dread the sadness that comes along with it.
‘I guess we should talk about how to make long-distance work,’ I say, quickly following it up with, ‘If that’s what we decide to do.’
‘It’s not what Iwant,’ Dev answers, the words measured. ‘But if it’s the only way we can be together, then that’s how it’ll have to be.’ He exhales a sardonic laugh, peering at me in profile. ‘Can I make a confession? It’s been a really long time since I had a girlfriend.’
My heart stutter-steps in my chest. Is he . . . Did he just put a label on this? I mean, I like it, but it feels . . . big. Bigger than professing our love for each other somehow.
I choose to ignore it. I’m not ready to discuss what we are right now. ‘Oh yeah?’ I ask, my voice artificially light. ‘When was the last time?’
‘I—’ He cuts short, scrunching his brow in concentration. ‘Shit, freshman year of high school? Priya. Her momhatedme.’
I gape at him. ‘Seriously?’
‘Oh yeah, that woman thought I was the—’
‘No, I mean you really haven’t had a girlfriend since the start ofhigh school?’
Over the past several years, I’ve tried my best not to keep up with him or read tabloid fodder about his love life. I didn’t want to come across something I couldn’t unsee. But he hasn’t had a girlfriend since he was what? Fifteen? He’s always come off as such a romantic – case in point, this date – so I assumed he had a string of monogamous relationships over the years. Guess I was wrong.
Dev shrugs. ‘This lifestyle makes it hard to have a partner. I really have to be invested in a relationship to want to make it work. That’s not to say there haven’t been women. I’ll be honest, Willow. There have been . . . a lot.’ He seems only a little sheepish about admitting that.
‘Huh,’ I muse. That admission doesn’t particularly bother me. He’s a hot, rich, successful man who could charm the pants off just about anyone. And it sounds like he did. But I have no right to judge him for it. Besides, I’m the one he’s rented out a whole house for,justso we could have a date. The women in his past aren’t my concern. ‘No wonder that STD thing hit you so hard. It could have been true.’
He barks out a surprised laugh. ‘Okay,ouch. I was always careful, thank you very much.’ He elbows me gently in the ribs and grins. ‘But yeah, it did hit a little close to home. The paddock might as well be a Petri dish, so it’s important to be safe.’
A flash of a memory hits me – the two of us skin-to-skin last night – and suddenly I’m flushed from head to toe. Sure, a conversation about STDs does little to get me hot and bothered, but his scandal meant that he wasn’t with anyone else over those months. Considering we laid the rumours to rest what feels like ages ago, he could have easily found someone to take to bed in the meantime – yet he still held out. For me.
He choseme.
‘You okay?’ I hear him ask. The note of concern in the question snaps me out of my daze. ‘Is it too warm out here? We can head back inside if you want to.’
