“Not by choice.”
“Insomnia?”
“Something like that.”
“What are you doing?”
“Breathing.”
I squinted at her, like,Um. We’re all breathing.
“Meditating,” she corrected.
“Oh,” I said. “That doesn’t sound as good as sleeping.”
“It has its upsides.”
“Do you need anything before I go?”
She gave a little head shake. “I’m good. If I get in a fix, I’ll call Josienext door. Her husband travels for work all the time, so we look out for each other.”
I couldn’t help but note that there’d been no mention of Josie back when Diana had been pressuring me to move here. But it was fine. Great. Backup. Less to worry about.
Time to get moving.
“It’s crochet club again tomorrow night, in case you’d like to come.”
I gave her a look. “That’s a nope.”
“See you tomorrow, then,” she said. Then she winked her good eye at me and said, “Have fun.”
I ARRIVED Ahalf hour early and waited in my truck until it was time to go in, not wanting to look overeager.
At quarter to six, I grabbed my gear and reported to Captain Murphy’s office.
I’d never walked into a firehouse cold like this before. Every job I’d had, I’d eased into. I’d known some guys who worked there, or I’d been encouraged to join by someone on the crew. It’s one thing to be invited somewhere, but it’s quite another to just show up.
My stomach felt tight. This was the moment of truth. This was the moment when I’d find out exactly how much I’d given up by moving here—and if I could ever get it back. As strange as it sounds, friends, apartments, and even cities were all replaceable. But the job—this particular job—held something for me that I couldn’t find anywhere else. It gave me access to my favorite part of myself. That calm, centered person who knew exactly what to do.
I’d endure anything to get back to her.
Failure was not an option.
Maybe they didn’t want me here. Maybe they’d resent everything about me. It didn’t matter. I needed to secure my place here, however I could.
If I lost this, I lost the one part of myself I couldn’t do without.
I’d Googled Captain Murphy already, of course, because I’d Googledthem all, and I knew him by sight. Midfifties, stocky, ruddy from a life spent outside—and sporting a spectacular walrus mustache that made him look more like a cartoon of a fireman than a real one.
Captain Murphy did not seem to be expecting me. “Yes?”
“I’m Cassie Hanwell,” I said, and when I didn’t see any recognition, I added, “Here for C-shift.”
Then came the nod. “Got it,” he said. “The rookie beat you. And he brought doughnuts.”
Had it been a race? “I’m fifteen minutes early,” I said.
“Our battalion chief always says if you’re fifteen minutes early, you’re half an hour late.”
