Page 25 of All the Beautiful Things
Head down and shoulders hunched as if she was trying to hide herself, but there was no darkness that could ever hide the light I saw simmering deep inside her, begging to burst free.
She headed toward the last elevator, closest to me. I stepped back out of sight as she pressed the button, fiddled with her scarf and then removed her gloves, shoving them deep into her coat pockets. She unbuttoned her coat as the elevators opened and stepped in.
My feet carried me in her direction without thought, pure instinct fueling me with the need to see to protect and to heal.
As soon as I stepped in, she gasped, but I kept my head down, hitting the number to my floor and the closed button so the doors shut. Two harried employees appeared in the doorway right before they closed, and I didn’t move a muscle to grab the door so they could enter.
We were shut in. Together and alone. Every beat of my heart told me to reach for her. To kiss her and hold her and apologize until my head was buried in her shoulder and she was forgiving me and wrapping her arms around me, holding me back.
Instead, I clenched my hands into fists and forced them to stay at my sides. In the mirrored door’s reflection, she clutched her coat tight to her chest and those hunched shoulders I saw only moments ago were now pushed back and she stood straight and tall.
Our eyes met for a brief moment before she yanked her gaze straight ahead of her and up, counting and watching each floor as we rose.
She was beautiful, so effortlessly so, but she’d taken to darkening her makeup again as she’d done when she worked at Judith’s. It was her armor, I realized, hardening her to outside forces where for weeks she’d softened it and let her natural freckles shine. Yet, even with her armor, she was still gorgeous. Her coat had slipped open as she slid her hands into her coat pockets. Pain-filled blue eyes and her hair in a straight silky sheet, she’d never looked more beautiful to me in her black and white polka dot top and black dress pants. Red flats her only color.
God, I wanted her. Loved her. Would do anything to repair the damage I caused, even if it meant more time and fleeting glances when I could steal them.
The elevator stopped, bouncing us softly and she stepped out as soon as the doors opened. But as she did, she turned back, gaze doing a quick scan of my body and life returning briefly to her cheeks before she finally,finally,met my gaze.
“Hudson—” she started and pressed her lips together.
I saw it all in her eyes, the force of her emotions hitting me like a sledgehammer. And yet, at that last moment, eyes softened and her lips curled up. She shrugged as if she couldn’t help herself in loving me but she still couldn’t bear the sight of me, either.
She loved me.
It was enough. All I needed to see.
“Have a good day, Lilly,” I said, and as the doors closed, I grinned.
I pulled out my phone and before the elevator reached my floor, sent her two texts.
You look beautiful.
I’m sorry.
Hours later, after lunch, after I’d spent half of the day trying to focus on new projects and possibilities on the south side of Des Moines, but mostly thinking of Lilly, my phone lit up. Her name sparkled on my screen like the world’s most treasured Christmas present. I grabbed it so fast, my phone bounced and fumbled in my hands until I settled myself.
I’d like to talk. Tonight?
My thumbs flew across the keypad faster than I’d imagined possible.
Name the time and place. Happily.
Another hour passed before she returned with a time and her place. A grin pinched my cheeks before I stared out the windows of my office.
She invited me to her home. Her safe place, where she had to know I would never want to hurt her.
Tonight it was.
* * *
What didyou bring in a peace offering to the woman you loved and had betrayed and lied to?
I’d romanced Lilly with flowers and romantic dinners at one time, showering her with the attention she deserved as well as elegant foods and flowers she’d never be able to afford on her own. But it was the cupcakes and sparkling cider I knew she’d appreciated the most. Small acts that brought her pleasure.
Tonight, I arrived empty-handed with only my explanations and apologies as gifts, and I hoped like hell, along with everything we’d shared previously, it’d be enough.
It took ten thousand beats of my heart once I knocked to hear the click of the lock and the rattle of the chain from the other side. And then Lilly was there. Gone was her white polka-dotted top and dress pants and shining hair. In front of me was a woman who was tired, bone-weary, dressed in simple gray leggings and a large teal sweatshirt with the words PINK stamped in white across her chest.
