Page 15 of All the Beautiful Things
She dug into her purse and pulled out her key, not giving me a single glance. “Since I couldn’t get my old job back and can’t afford to take the time to wait for Ellen to find me a new one, in case you care, I won’t be quitting, but please let Brandon know I will not be in on Monday. I need more time.”
She unlocked her door, face pale without makeup, without any of her normal shine. Even her freckles had lost their luster.
I did that to her.Wedid that.
“Please don’t,” I said. Don’t leave me. Don’t walk away. It took more effort than I knew I was capable of not to shove open her door and follow her inside, cross the threshold of her home and demand she listened.
But her home was her safe haven, and I wouldn’t do that to her.
“You lied to me. You all did.”
“We did.”
“You deceived me intentionally.”
She turned inside her apartment and allowed me to see the torture etched to her features and her own agony. It silenced with me with a single breath.
“You manipulated me and hid things I needed to know and you expect me to waltz back into that office and act like nothing happened?”
Her tone was wooden. Not screaming at me like this morning.
I missed her fire. Now, she sounded like she didn’t care, and that was almost more terrifying than her fury.
“Dad and I will stay away. I swear it, Lilly, but don’t throw this away. Hate your boss. You deserve to and you have every right to hate the rest of us but don’t lose this opportunity. The job and us are not connected.”
Her hand gripped the door, painted fingernails now ripped and torn, and I imagined her chewing on them all day, hating me.
She inhaled a breath so large her shoulders rose to her ears before she expelled it. With only the slightest wobble in her voice, she met my gaze. “There is no us.”
The door closed quietly in my face and the locking mechanism from inside engaged before I blinked.
There is no us.
It rolled through me and forced me back a step.
I deserved it.
It didn’t make the pain any less, even though I knew this would be the result before I ever stepped foot into her diner, and she practically kicked me straight back out.
I saw the end of us coming before we began.
I only couldn’t have predicted it would hurt this much.
5
Lilly
“Did you know you could live without a heart?”
“Are we a vampire now?” my therapist asked.
“Nooo.” I rolled my eyes to Nancy’s ceiling before adjusting myself on her couch so I was almost lying down. I usually preferred to sit, but my bones hurt and exhaustion had worn me out.
After everything that happened yesterday, I took a risk her office would be open today and emailed late last night about an appointment. That was after one in the morning and I was awake at five. The few hours of sleep I managed to snag were fitful, with constant waking. I was so thankful Nancy had openings today otherwise, I would have driven myself crazy, pacing circles in my apartment with nowhere else to go, jumping at every sound in the hallway for fear it was Hudson.
He’d proven last night he had no problems coming to see me, even if he’d left… even if he’d been thoughtful enough to bring me dinner.
I’d thrown it out, too stuffed from dinner with Angie’s family and too pissed to take anything else from him.
