Page 86 of All the Ugly Things
I shoved my last bite of lobster into my mouth before I threw that out.
When we were done with dinner, I helped Hudson clean up.
I was bent over, loading the last of the dishes when a dark chocolate box with cream lettering slid on the counter in my line of sight. My eyes widened to the size of saucers and my mouth fell open.
It was a box I would never forget losing.
“You didn’t.”
“You didn’t get your last desserts, figured I should make that up to you.”
I ignored the memory his statement brought, as well as the guilty look on his face.
“What happened that night wasn’t your fault.”
I reached for the box and opened it gingerly, immediately getting hit with the sugary sweet scent of dozens of cupcakes. Miniatures. There had to be four dozen of them. There were so many different varieties, I fell into a sugar coma before I picked the first one.
“If I would have driven you home you wouldn’t have been hurt.AndI would have known where you lived so you wouldn’t have been blindsided.”
I didn’t particularly enjoy the reminder of my inappropriate tantrum I had in his office only a week ago.
I picked what looked like a chocolate cupcake with mocha frosting and unpeeled the paper. Without meeting Hudson’s gaze, I said, “You’re assuming you could have gotten me to agree.”
“I wouldn’t have?” True surprise colored his voice and I shook my head.
“You might be the guy who everyone likes and trusts, and you might be well known around here, but no. I wouldn’t have. Like I said that night, I meant it. I do fine on my own, and I’m used to it.”
“Maybe I don’t think you should have to be.”
“Still not your call to make or take, it’s mine to give.”
And for some reason, even while he was being so damn nice and while I was slowly admitting my own attraction to him, I felt the force of my words hit him like I’d physically shoved him away from me.
* * *
We satin front of the gas fireplace, turned down low to provide more lighting than heat but I still had a blanket tossed over my lap I’d grabbed from the back of one of his couches. With my feet tucked under me, I leaned toward Hudson.
The tension I created during dessert dissipated as slowly as a helium-filled balloon. It’d taken a while, with thick silence and few words, mostly on my part.
“I’m sorry, about earlier.”
“You don’t have to apologize, Lilly.”
“I think I do.”
Hudson might have been the first man I’d ever wanted to open up to other than Josh. Even in high school, I was guarded, mostly around the guys because theyallwanted to either know Josh or say they did.
“I’ve been on my own for pretty much my entire life. I spent most of my time growing up trying to avoid attention so I just took care of things myself. Being in Mitchellville only made it worse. But you might be right.”
“Might be?” He cocked his head to the side, one brow arching. His gentle teasing was so simple, I fought a smile.
“Might be,” I conceded. “It might not be a horrible thing to let others in, but it’s not something that comes naturally to me.”
And yet beside Hudson, there was Angie, worming her way into my life for whatever reason.
Hudson had one of his arms on the back of the couch, bent so he could rest his head in his hand. As I spoke, he ran a hand through his short hair. The move was so small, so innocent, and yet I still wondered what those fingers would feel like in mine.
If there would come a time when he wouldwantto do that to mine.
