Page 50 of All the Ugly Things
David sat across from me with his own file, but he didn’t open it. He clasped his hands together on top of it. “Can I ask what changed your mind? Not that I wasn’t thrilled to hear from you earlier, but prior to that, Hudson told me he still wasn’t certain what you’d do.”
I tapped pen to paper, my skin tightening. “I haven’t had a lot of goodness in my life and I don’t trust easily. Hudson told me about your family, the foster kids. I’m still not sure why you want to help me, but I don’t think it’s wise to turn my back on this opportunity.”
A soft smile stretched his lips. That pleased him. For some reason, I was quick to wipe it away.
“That doesn’t mean I’m going to take this, but I think it’s worth considering. That’s why I’m here.”
“And I’m glad you are.”
Stephanie returned with our water glasses and set them on coasters near us along with a small bowl of cut lemons that reminded me of the creamer bowls at Judith’s.
“I’d have to give Judith notice,” I said. “So if I agreed to anything, or even got a job here, I wouldn’t be able to start immediately.”
“I would expect nothing else from you,” David said, in a way his approval warmed me to my bones.
He took a lemon and squeezed it into his water.
“Take some time and glance at the jobs we have in that file. If anything sparks your interest, we can discuss. Or alternatively, you can tell me more about your schooling. What would you do if you could do anything?”
I hated the bubble of hope his words brought. If I could do anything? Be anyone? I didn’t have that luxury. The dream ofif I could do anythingslammed closed when handcuffs clicked around my wrists.
“The door closed on my opportunities to dream of anything years ago. Now I’m more reasonable.”
“What if that door was opened?”
“I don’t play thewhat-ifgame, Mr. Valentine. Not anymore.”
“David.” He grinned. “I understand. What are you doing at school then?”
I opened the folder. “Office administration. Some kind of assistant, I guess.” I scanned the first three pages he’d had printed out. All entry-level positions. All with minimum hourly wages that would be at least double the amount I made at Judith’s.
All paying much too high for their requirements. Enough I could shop at Target, buy cupcakes when I felt like it,andmore than the occasional Chipotle tucked away in a one-bedroom apartment.
The only dream I had.
It also had to be way too high and Hudson had told me no special treatment. I slapped the folder closed.
“Why did you look into me?” I’d been dying to know ever since Hudson spoke the wordsWe know.
David didn’t flinch. “Because I could and before I extend my help I like to know who I’m offering it to. At least the basics.”
“And you still wanted that, even after knowing?”
His sad, sad eyes warmed with an emotion that made me sit up straight in an effort to put distance between us. It was heavy and warm, almost loving, and I hated it.
“You were a child, Lilly. You made a mistake. And you’re still young. Don’t you think you’ve been punished enough?”
Pain and guilt and grief slashed through me like a whip.
“I’ll be punished every day for the rest of my life.” Because Josh was gone. And I might not have been driving the truck. But I made the phone call.
“Then that’s your penance, if you wish to carry it. Why bear more?” He voice turned to gravel, like he hated the thought of what I’d been through.
A fierce, wicked sting sliced through my chest and went straight to my gut. Hemeantthis, which made saying no to him virtually impossible.
Would it be so bad for a girl like me to cling to the kind of man I always wished I could have had for my father? They were using me to feel better about themselves. What was the harm in doing the same?
Movement in the doorway grabbed my attention, making me jump. Damn Hudson. He was always sneaking up on me.
