Page 38 of All the Ugly Things
It felt like the largest win I’d had in years.
While at the same time, the largest loss.
Once she took a job, the end of us would unravel, and we hadn’t even begun.
10
Lilly
“Will you let me drive you home?”
We were standing on the sidewalk outside Crème. I almost cried big fat alligator tears of having to leave the small dessert restaurant. It smelled like sugar and sweetness and everyone had been so kind.
Fortunately, I held the twenty-two varieties of cakes and cupcakes we hadn’t had time to take a single bite of.
I’d be in a sugar coma by the time I ate them all. The risk was worth it.
They wereincredible. After seven years with very few sweets, the simplest desserts left me feeling like the last two hours were heaven. For one night, the gloom of my past, the scent of prison and the clang of cells and the barking of guards had skipped town in my brain, allowing me to soak in something special.
With a man who, if I was a different woman, would be so easy to fall in love with.
As it was, after tonight I was having a difficult time fighting the burgeoning crush I felt for Hudson.
He wasn’t movie-star handsome with perfect looks, but he had a ruggedness to him. His body was built and he was definitely tall, well over six feet. If I was a betting girl, I’d go all in on betting that beneath the thin sweater he wore, there’d be bricks where ab muscles should be. His hair, jet-black and swept to the side looked like he ran a hand through it throughout the day, and his perfectly groomed scruff highlighted the cut of his jaw and somehow accentuated his cheekbones.
But it was Hudson’s eyes I liked the most. They were dark pools of emotions, lighting and darkening depending on his moods. Almost as dark as his hair, his onyx eyes were breathtaking.
I adored those eyes, and when he set them on me all pensive-like or determined, my heart skipped a beat and then sent a trail of warmth to my lower stomach.
Things I should definitely not be feeling around him. I didn’t know him. I definitely still didn’t trust him, although after tonight, that was starting to change.
But there was no way I was getting in a car with him. I had to fight panic attacks even on the bus and the few times I’d taken a taxi or an Uber, I’d clung to the door handle so harshly I was surprised it didn’t break in my hand. And more than one driver had warned me not to vomit in their car when they’d caught my reflection in their rearview mirrors.
“No thank you. I can handle the walk home.”
In addition to the emotional ride of being in a car, there was no way I wanted him seeing where I lived. He might have attempted to treat me like I was no different than him, but the squalor of my home would shed a harsh reality on just how vastly differently we lived. Me in my Goodwill clothes, out of style and of better use in the garbage dump and him in his designer dress pants and sweater and shoes so well-shined they might have been brand new.
We weren’t compatible, but I didn’t need him to see just how far apart we were if he hadn’t already figured it out.
Besides, I was someone they were helping for whatever reason I was beginning to no longer care about. I wasn’t anything more than a charity-case for men who did much for charities. It was more than the sting of my pride that hated that. It was because it washim. This attractive guy who listened intently when I spoke and had already once jumped in to defend me, however unnecessary.
“You won’t let me talk you into it, will you?” Hudson shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants and rocked back on his heels.
“Not a chance in hell. Besides.” I lifted the bag filled with cupcakes he purchased I already lost the battle on. “If I get in trouble, I can save myself with these.”
“Lilly—” His tone sounded edged with exasperation. But he’d already spent enough money on me for the night and I didn’tneedhis help. Not with this.
“If you know where I came from, then you know a walk on these streets is nothing. I can handle myself.”
“Maybe I don’t think you should have to.”
His words cascaded me with warmth. Hope. Something I definitely shouldn’t be thinking about when it came to this man who was more philanthropist than friend. “See you around, Hudson.”
“Does that mean I can come back to the diner?”
“No. But your dad can.”
I was teasing him. Good Lord, I was having fun teasing this attractive man who drew my attention like my kitchen sink drew roaches.
