Page 126 of All the Ugly Things
I walked her to her door where she was digging keys out of her purse that seemed to swallow the keys every time she dropped them in.
“Thanks for walking home with me. I know how much you like the warmth of your truck cab.”
“Spending time with you isn’t a sacrifice.”
“Then maybe when you get home later, we can hang out? You know, since we don’t have work tomorrow.”
“Maybe.” I doubted I’d be in any sort of mood for company. “It’ll be late though.”
“I don’t mind.” Her hand pressed to my cheek. Her palm was cold but her smile soft and warm. “You sure you’re okay?”
I’d be better once this day was behind us. “Yeah.” Although it came out sounding unsure.
“All right.” I hated the lingering disappointment in her tone. “Tell David I said hello. Call me later if you’d like.”
“I will.” She rolled to her toes and kissed me.
As soon as her lips touched mine, that unraveling thread on my self-control frayed more. Every damn time we touched I wanted more. Wanted to take more and wanted to give her all of me. Today, more than any other, I wanted to bury myself in her and forget everything except how good she felt. How kind and good she was despite the walls she still held up.
Which was why I stepped back, ending the kiss and pressed my lips to her nose, leaving her smiling and her eyes hazy.
“Goodnight, Lilly.”
“Later, Hudson.”
She unlocked and opened her door and I waited until she closed it, fingers giving me a playful wave through the small opening as she closed the door.
Once the locks were engaged, I went to my apartment.
Grabbing a bottle of bourbon from above the fridge, I set it on the kitchen counter with a highball glass. Then I went to my dresser and pulled out a picture I’d started keeping hidden beneath my boxer shorts and socks.
Melissa would give me so much shit for having her face smooshed against my underwear, but it was the safest place for it.
I took them both to the living room and took my first drink.
I wouldn’t have much before I went to Dad’s house, but I needed something to smooth all the edges and hide all the darkness.
The picture was of Melissa and me. Brandon and I were still in college and had won a home baseball game where Melissa had come to cheer us on. Her arms were wrapped around my neck, and she’d yanked our cheeks together. But it was her smile, and the brightness in her eyes I loved the most.
It was exactly how she always was.
Everything I missed.
I poured a glass of bourbon, held it out to the photo and smirked at the picture of my sister.
“Have I ever told you you’re a total pain in my ass?”
I took the shot, sucked it down with a slight hiss as it burned my throat and recapped the bottle.
Later. There’d be more waiting for me later when I returned, when I could get drunk as a skunk and forget everything for a few hours.
32
Lilly
Ihad one foot propped up on the coffee table, bottle of nail polish balanced in my hand, and my phone tucked between my shoulder and ear.
Angie was on the other end of the phone. Trying to calm my quaking nerves about tomorrow.
