Page 103 of All the Ugly Things
It was divine. So much more than I’d imagined. So much better than I could have ever imagined any kiss to be.
Hudson couldkiss. And he was kissing me, passionately, until he pulled back, gasping for breath, and pressed his forehead to mine. “I didn’t mean to get carried away.”
“I’m glad you did.” Our breaths were heavy. Chests heaving as we fought to return to sanity and solid ground.
Still, he pressed his forehead to mine and gripped my scalp with such intensity it seemed he was having just as hard of a time as I was. “I want to go slow with you. I can’t… I can’t take more from you.”
He looked pained. Eyes squeezed tightly closed, jaw hard and wrinkles lined his forehead. I reached up, pressed my palm to the curve of his jaw.
“Do you… regret that?”
“No,” he groaned. “No regret, but I should go.”
It was the last thing I wanted. I wanted more kisses. More of his body pressing to mine, and yet he looked so torn. “Okay.”
There was something wrong. Something he wouldn’t share and it became obvious when he stepped back, let me go and shoved his hands into his pockets almost to clean away the feel of me. “Get inside, Lilly. And sleep well.”
He gestured toward the door, opened behind me.
I didn’t know what happened, what put that cavern of space between us, but I stepped over my threshold and did what I was told.
“Goodnight, Hudson.”
I closed the door and kicked off my shoes and pressed my back to the door. My fingers drifted to my lips. My first real kiss since I was eighteen years old and it felt likeheaven.
And yet he’d ended it.Whyhad he changed so quickly? My heart and the desire he’d stroked fell like a lead weight to the floor. What had just gone so wrong?
* * *
“Earth to Lilly.”
The now familiar thump of Angie’s book bag hit the table.
“What?”
She sat down and scooted in, sliding her lunch on the table and shoving her book bag to the side. “You’ve been spacey all day. I don’t even think you noticed I was behind you in history.”
She was right. It was two days, and I was still daydreaming of Hudson and his lips and that firm grip of his hands, tangled in my air. How warm and firm his body had been.
How I hadn’t seen him since.
“Sorry.” I shook my head. “Weird weekend.”
“Ahh…. you had the date with your hottie neighbor. I take it that it went well.”
It was incredible. The perfect weekend outside of Judith telling me not to return to work. And then… it’d just ended… and I still didn’t know what to make of it.
“Friday night was great,” I said. I tapped my fingers to the table. Still worried. Still thinking. Still trying to figure out why everything changed so quickly. Maybe I’d been too emotional for him. Maybe he thought he took advantage of me? But I was the one who kissed him… maybe I was reading too much into his reaction after the kiss. Or the fact I hadn’t heard from him since.
That wasn’t unusual. When I first moved in, he gave me space. Maybe he was doing the same. Taking things slow.
“It was Sunday when things went weird,” I finally finished, fully aware of Angie’s impatience bubbling from across the table.
Angie flipped her braids behind her shoulders and plopped her elbow on the table, chin to her fisted hand. “Weird? Explain.”
“It’s probably nothing. I’m twisting something. Or imagining it, but we kissed and then… everything went weird.”
“You kissed!?” She squealed, slapped her hands to the table. Immediately my gaze darted around the luncheon but for once, it didn’t seem as if anyone was paying a bit of attention.
