Page 82 of This Time Around
“Bye, Becca.I’ll call you.”
His hands fell from mine, he pushed off the bed and stood, and my head was spinning as he walked out my bedroom door.
I hadn’t even said goodbye.
Cooper was wrong.I knew exactly what was happening.He was taking steps to put all the attention behind him and soon, he’d leave and wouldn’t need to return.
Then, I would have to say goodbye.And it might destroy me.
“He didn’t leave us, Pepper.”The goat bumped against my knee and whined again.“I swear it.He’ll be back.”
Even if it was just to say goodbye.I wasn’t telling the goat that.He was acting almost as morose as I felt.I’d spent the day alone on the ranch.It was the first time I’d had to do everything by myself in weeks and the day was dragging on slower than molasses.
It had taken me more than my regular cup of coffee, at least three, to finally comprehend everything Cooper said to me before he left.
We’ll talk when you can make sense of what’s happening here.
It was that statement he casually dropped in my sleepy and decaffeinated lap still making my head spin as I gave the goats more water.It was as hot as the dickens out and sweat dripped down my neck into my shirt.My hair was pulled onto the top of my head and I was beyond certain the sun beating down on me was giving me heat stroke with the way my thoughts were drifting.
Did he mean he wanted to stay longer?
Whatwashappening?
I knew that since Cooper arrived, sauntering up to me like he owned the land and everything around it, I’d been on a whirlwind, tossed and thrown about, and yet I knew, if it were to end today, if this morning was goodbye, there was nothing I regretted.What we had last night wasn’t what he so callously called being fuck buddies weeks ago.
It was deeper than that.When he wasn’t around, I thought of him.When he was around, I caught myself watching him when he didn’t see me, and when he caught me, I smiled and turned away, heat searing my cheeks.When we talked, I did everything I could to bring out his smile, his laughter a bonus.
And that night in the kitchen.Last night in the bathroom.
I couldn’t remember a time my body responded with such frenziedhave to have you nowpassion.Maybe I had with Joseph when we were first together.Maybe it was an explosion of chemistry from going without for so long mixed with his of the same as he’d told me.
Maybe it was something different…something different than Joseph and I ever had.
And was that bad?To be able to experience something new and exciting and powerful?Different was good, right?
Pepper bumped my knee again, making an almost groaning sound.“Shh, Pepper.I miss him too.”
It surprised me to hear myself say that.Almost eight months ago, I’d buried my husband.I’d spent the winter in grief and anger and doing the bare minimum to maintain the ranch.Now, only weeks after meeting Cooper, I was hopeful, looking forward to something new, looking forward tosomeone.
And wasn’t that just the kick in the pants?
Because he might return to me in a day or two, but he was still leaving.
I locked up Pepper and the rest of the goats once I finished filling their troughs with water.
Then I drug my feeling-sorry-for-myself-behind inside, where it was safe to wallow alone.
Showeredand dressed in black yoga shorts and a tank top, I was heading down the stairs to cook myself some dinner when my phone rang in my back pocket.
A pinch hit my chest when Jordan’s name flashed on the screen and not Cooper’s.
He’d said he’d call, and yet I hadn’t heard from him.I was beginning to worry, not only about his safety on the flight but the fact he didn’t bother letting me know he’d arrived.Max would call though if there was an emergency, wouldn’t he?
I answered the phone with that question niggling in my mind.“Hey, what’s up?”
“Hey kiss ass, you and Hollywood busy tonight?You’ve been all over town and haven’t yet come to my restaurant.Get your asses here and dinner’s on me.”
I was smiling when he called me my childhood nickname.Jordan never wanted anything to do with the farm.He helped because he had to, but the man always had a ball of some form in his hand while doing chores.On the other hand, I was sitting in the tiny passenger seat, watching Dad work and waiting for my turn to drive the tractor before I took my first steps.When Jordan and I were teenagers and argued, he always threw out me being a kiss ass to become dad’s favorite.
