Page 42 of This Time Around
“Ex.Soon to be.But yeah.It wasn’t her first appearance.”
I took a chair across from her.She had plenty of space.She still pulled her wineglass toward her and straightened.
She pulled away from me.
“She said she loves you.”
I took another swallow of my beer to wash away the bile building in my throat.“She should have become an actress instead of a model.She’s damn good at it.”
“Cooper.”Her eyes lifted, sad, void brown pools peered at me.“She’s your wife and she wants to work on your marriage.”
To the outside world, that’s what they saw, because that’s how Camilla was framing it.Hell if I’d let Rebecca believe that beautifully painted mirage.
“She’s been cheating on me since before she had my ring on her finger, Rebecca.”At that confession, something no one but Max and Paul knew, Rebecca blinked.“Yeah.Didn’t know it.Swear, don’t know what was wrong with me.Maybe I was so damn in love with her I overlooked all the signs, but still, even thinking about it, she’s so damn good, there weren’t any.I can’t think of a time she hid her phone from me, hung up when I walked into the room, anytime she was dressed in anything other than what she should be wearing to wherever she was going.We traveled a lot, both of us.But we talked, every night.Texted during the day.There wasn’t a single damn clue, even now that I can see she didn’t love me as much as I loved her.”
I took a breath, expecting that burn and tightness in my chest, the noose around my throat to tighten but it didn’t come.
“Hired a private investigator before I came out here to find out everything he could.Twelve men.In a week, that’s the amount of men he found she’d been with, one of them being the talk show host she spoke to two nights ago.That’s what Jordan saw.That’s what has everyone in a tizzy.”
“I’m sorry.”She pressed her lips together like she wanted to say more but when I gave her time, she stayed silent.
“Me too.But like I said this morning, time and space, and the knowledge of what I now know has helped.Not saying it doesn’t sting, but that might be more pride in the first place.Or maybe I didn’t love her as much as I thought I did.Maybe I just wanted to.”I shrugged to take away the sting ofthatrevelation.“I’ve had six months to think about her, our marriage, and weeks to deal with realizing exactly how unfaithful she was.The only thing I’m sorry about right now is that I didn’t pick up on it earlier and end it then.”
The only thing I’d said earlier that morning that was a lie was not wanting to push Rebecca to turn to me.I wanted it so bad I jacked off twice earlier to calm down.I was thirty-four years old, acting more like I was twenty with the way my dick sprung up, ready for action, at the mere thought of her.
The only thing keeping the guy down now was the reminder I was in Joseph’s clothes.A man she still desperately loved and hadn’t made an effort to put in her past, since she clearly still kept his clothes.
How did I find myself in these damn situations?
For not the first time, more like the tenth, I considered leaving.Going home.Getting shit taken care of with Camilla and put that in my rear view, put my head down, and get back to work.
The only thing keeping me here was the woman sitting across of me who didn’t want to be mine.
I rubbed my forehead and pushed off from the table draining the rest of my beer before I tossed it in the recycling bin next to the garbage.
“I should go.Get some sleep.”
“You can stay here.”I turned back to Rebecca as she continued.“It’s still raining, you don’t have electricity.Your clothes aren’t dry.”
“Rebecca—” I didn’t know what to say.The struggle to have me there was written all over her pale skin and trembling chin.
“I have several guest rooms.The couches.It’s fine.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”She stood, drank the last of her wine and set it on the counter.“Come on, if you’re tired, I’ll show you upstairs.”
“Couch is fine.”No way in hell was I walking upstairs with her.She was being polite, but the mere thought of beds and her and I and…nope.I was good right where I was.
“You sure?”
I grinned as she repeated my earlier question.“Yeah, and thanks.I didn’t really want to head back outside.”
“It’ll be raining for hours yet.Fields will be a disaster tomorrow and with all the lightning, we’ll definitely need to spend some time checking all the cattle, especially the calves.Plus, there might be fences to fix, downed trees.”
As she rattled off a list I knew was more of her making a mental to-do, my grin widened.
She wanted me there but was uncomfortable with it.She wanted to kiss me, but was uncomfortable with that, too.
