Page 122 of This Time Around
As if he knew I was thinking about him, my phone rang with his ringtone.I pulled my phone from my back pocket.
“Hey, good morning.Were your ears burning?”
“Why, were you talking about me to someone?”
“Just to Pepper.”
His laugh radiated through the phone and I could picture him, hip against the counter in his penthouse, one hand on his phone, the other holding his morning cup of coffee.There was most likely a script or a newspaper spread out before him, and reading glasses I hadn’t even known he owned or needed until that day he left.
The memory sent a prick of pain to my chest and I kicked it to the ground.
“And how are you two doing today?”
He was a nut.He treated Pepper more like a child than I did and the goats were my dream.Still, his words still sent a heat to my cheeks.I tucked a chunk of hair behind my ear and dipped my head, like he was standing in front of me, making me blush.“We’re good.Busy day.They’re saying storms are heading our way so Tomas and I are heading out soon to check the fences.There are some trees he’s worried about near the fence lines and we might just take them down so they don’t fall.”
“Busy day indeed,” he sighed.“I wish I was there helping.”
I did too.“What’s on your agenda for the day?”
“A few meetings with the producers, but to be honest, nothing.Tell me about the storm.Is it supposed to be bad?”
“Yeah.I guess.I suppose it depends.It’s August and we’ve been spared most of the dangerous weather, but they’re predicting tornadoes later this afternoon.”
It was a part of life in Kansas.I had already double-checked the cellar outside so that just in case I needed to take shelter, I had it ready.I also considered heading into town and spending the night with Jordan or one of my friend’s families.Storms on the ranch were scary enough, but I’d worry less if I was closer to the animals in case something happened.
“You’ll be safe?”Cooper asked, the tightness in his voice was clear.
“Don’t worry, Hollywood.I was raised with these.Plus, you’ve seen the cellar.”
“Yeah and I still think there are ghosts, or maybe rats down there.”
The cellar wasn’t attached to the house, and our house was old enough we didn’t have a basement.After that first thunderstorm with Cooper, I’d showed him where we’d head if there were tornadoes, but I hadn’t had to use it yet this summer.The walls were built with cement blocks, lined with wood shelves that stored canned goods.I had a flashlight that didn’t need batteries, a weather radio, a few changes of clothes in case and important documents in a small safe in case we ever lost the house, and my favorite warm blanket.
All I needed down there was electricity and I could live there for days if I needed to.
“I worry about you there,” Cooper said.“Last time I was gone, something happened.Tell me you’ll be safe, Rebecca.Always.”
“Of course I will,” I said.“I promise.And, if it gets bad, I’ll call you okay?”
“You better.I’ll let you go, I know there’s work to do, but give Pepper a kiss for me, would you?”
“You and your goat,” I teased.
“Yeah, but don’t worry.I’m saving all my good kisses for you when I see you next.”
It was the first time either of us had talked about seeing each other outside apparently hosting his family for Thanksgiving.“Yeah?”
“Yeah.God, it’s killing me to not be with you.You know that, right?”
I’d assumed.“It feels better to hear it.”
“I love you.”His voice turned gritty.“I miss you every damn day out here, Rebecca.I feel like I’m losing my mind.”
“I love you, too.”It came easier now, fell off my lips without thought and not always in response to him but because I couldn’t hold it in.
For the millionth time, I wished I wouldn’t have served up everything that day he left.Had I been more honest upfront, not fumbled everything, had I been able to tell him everything I felt before that day, before it became a breaking point, would he be here helping me?
Nightly, I kicked my own butt for pushing him away when he sat there, telling me he chose me and it didn’t seem like giving up anything but walking toward everything.
