Page 12 of This Time Around
Five
Rebecca
My fingers throbbed and my head hurt from the crying and the embarrassment and the pain—emotional and physical.
Cooper didn’t tell me he was sorry like everyone else, he didn’t offer worthless platitudes.He just stood there, his green eyes darting back and forth between mine, waiting for my answer, and I knew, whichever one I gave him, he would respect without argument.
God.I needed to get over having him around unless I kicked him out and told Max this wasn’t going to work.But, I did need the help and he looked able to handle anything I threw at him.
Freaking Max for putting me in this position, for asking for my help in the first place, knowing how difficult it was for me to say no to him.
“You can stay.”I twisted and headed for the door without looking back.My invitation wasn’t friendly or encouraging, but it was all I had left in me.
Cooper joined me right after, the door slamming shut as I settled back in my chair.I threw a blanket over my lap despite it being May and the summer heat well on its way.But, once the sun went down, it could still get chilly.Plus, it could be ninety and I could still be cold.
Something clunked on the cement stones and I looked down to see the wine bottle on the patio and Cooper lowering himself into the chair next to me.
“Good thinking,” I muttered and turned back to the fire and the sky above.It was cloudless, and millions of stars sparkled in the sky, winking at me like they held a secret just for me.
Jordan used to tease me all the time growing up about how I lived with my head in the clouds, thinking life could be nothing but roses and smiles, but it was the life I’d grown up with.Parents who loved each other and didn’t hesitate to show it, a mother who could be judgmental toward others in our small town and rarely tried to hide that as well, but despite her faults, she loved us fervently.Passionately.Almost as much as she loved her husband.
And all of them were taken from me.Even though Jordan was back, he was so busy with his resort we rarely saw each other and when we did, a distance had built since Joseph died.Granted, it was a line I drew after he continued to show up to help.
I didn’t want help.Or rather, I didn’t want to needit.I needed time to figure out how to run the ranch as efficiently as Joseph and I had together, as my parents had before us, and their parents and their parents before them.This ranch had been in our family for generations and hell if it was going to fall at my hands.
So yeah, I was stubborn as my friend Brooke said, because damn it, I needed the help.
Next to me, Cooper had gone silent, and it wasn’t that comfortable kind of silence where you could relax with another person without saying a word and still feel like you were communicating.There were items to discuss about the ranch, what he was comfortable doing, what I needed done, what a typical day was like and what he needed in order to keep his anonymity.
I didn’t have a lot of help on the ranch, but we did receive deliveries, and obviously, there were things we needed from town.
For the first night since I could remember, I had the sudden urge to run from my responsibilities and my unending to-do lists and simplybe.
I sighed heavily and took a sip of my wine, a red from a local Kansas winery, and shook my head.
Next to me, I practically felt Cooper grin into his own wine at the hefty sound I made.
“What time do you usually start working in the morning?”he asked.
So much for having the night off.
Put him to work, Max had said.
I’m better when I’m busy,Cooper had said himself only a few minutes ago.
“I’m up and moving at five-thirty,” I said, finally caving to the help offered.“Usually with the animals at six.Have you ever ridden a horse?”
I didn’t look at him while we spoke, the lack of eye contact made it easier to put space between us.
“No,” he said, with a quiet laugh.“In fact, first time I’ve ever touched a horse or been so close to one was earlier today.”
Wonderful.I’d need to teach him to ride and settle a saddle and do all the basics with the horses.
“I’ll teach you tomorrow.We can go out and see the land and I’ll explain what we do.”
“Six o’clock?”He was moving off his chair, the scrape of metal on cement louder than our voices and the crackling flames.
I had to gather eggs and check on the goats.We had a couple who were going to have babies soon.“Six thirty.I have some other things to do first.”
