Page 87 of Long for Me
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Rebecca
Out of the frying pan and into the fire.
The saying kept flickering through my mind while we were at Miranda’s house. Once we arrived, Miranda ushered Bennett and me inside, slid a beer in Bennett’s hand, a glass of wine into mine. Then the men disappeared into the living room to watch the Red Wings game while Miranda and I sat and chatted at the kitchen table.
Shortly after, Chloe and Simon arrived. The same greeting was given, and Simon joined the men in the living room.
I stayed quieter than Miranda and Chloe as we talked about our jobs and our lives and getting caught up. Typical conversation among friends that filled the room with giggles from the women and shouts from the men.
More hockey. I kept turning my head to watch the game. Based on the conversation, the men had already laid their bets as the Red Wings battled the Colorado Avalanche. I’d been honest with Bennett earlier. The rules of hockey flummoxed me. I never understood when fighting was allowed, when it wasn’t. I didn’t understand the rules and I’d never cared enough to learn them. I did enjoy watching the game, though, and two hockey games in one day accompanied with wine and friends was the perfect Saturday.
Even if it did come with the realization that the beautiful blonde had once been offered to Bennett.
I believed he didn’t touch her, but it was the learning that he had played with other men’s women that still stunned me, along with the brief conversation about returning to Luminous.
Every time I gained traction, grew confident in everything Bennett was teaching me, another speed bump landed right in front of me.
Yet, I was currently among friends, at least with Miranda, and like she’d done over the last several years, she’d answer any question I had. But this was a dinner and social night.
I didn’t want to ruin it by making it too serious.
So I sipped my wine, and later, when the game was over, Shawn finished up the rack of lamb. The six of us sat around their dining table and enjoyed a delicious meal, better drinks, and even more enjoyable company.
I was stuffed, a bit tipsy, and my cheeks and stomach hurt from food and laughing by the time dinner ended.
I couldn’t stop thinking of my conversation with Bennett though, and often I caught him giving me a look, one that was questioning and tinged with worry. I wasn’t surprised. Since New Year’s Eve, he’d always seemed to know what I was struggling with, sometimes even before I did.
Yet he’d always taken his time, showing unrelenting patience with me just like Miranda.
“We should get going,” Simon said. “Chloe has inventory at the store starting tomorrow.”
He sat next to her, draping his arm over her shoulder. As he spoke, she rested her head on his arm. “We can stay a bit longer.”
He shot her a heated look and smirked. “Perhaps I was trying to be polite and what I really wanted to say was I was anxious to get you home where I could have my wicked way with you.”
Her eyelashes fluttered and pink rose on her cheeks. “Oh.”
From the across the table, their passion was almost tangible.
It was almost too much to witness, like they were already making love to one another with words and not touches.
I pushed back my chair, the legs scraping on the tiled floor. “Excuse me,” I muttered, “I need to use the restroom.”
I rushed in the direction of the bathroom, down the short hallway. Once there, I settled my hands on the basin and dropped my head. Good grief.
I needed to get a grip. I’d just made a scene for absolutely no reason.
Focus. Relax. Breathe.
I inhaled a breath, one so large it burned my lungs and stood, ran a hand through my hair.
What had gotten into me? I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to watch others having sex, or see another woman naked. I didn’t want any of it and I hadn’t, even when I’d begun realizing that submitting to Bennett was more glorious than anything I could have ever imagined.
It twisted me in knots, but I couldn’t deny it.
When I was doing what Bennett commanded, it didn’t demean me.
