Page 68 of Don't Lie to Me
“Beer. And then explain to me why you think you’re going to leave the state with my kid.”
I bristled at the accusation but handed him his beer anyway. “They’re less than two hours away, Marcus. And I’m not taking Logan from you. You’d still be close enough to see him on the weekends.”
He looked panicked as he took a long pull on his beer, almost finishing half of it with one large gulp. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and took a deep breath. “I just started getting to know him, Emma. You can’t leave now.”
“I don’t know if I can stay,” I said after a few minutes of quiet, but thick tension prickled in the air between us. “I don’t even know if I’m going back to school. I’ve just been trying to figure out what in the hell I’m supposed to do now. Without…”
I cringed and stopped talking.
“Jack,” he supplied. His voice was full of venom and anger as he spit the word out like it was the most foul four letter word in existence. Although, it did have four letters, so maybe he wasn’t too far off the mark.
I nodded and re-filled my own glass of wine.
Marcus sounded softer when he spoke again. “You know, a part of me is really pissed off that Jack hurt you like this. I hate seeing you this broken, and sad.”
Irritation rippled through my nerves, making me feel like I needed to shed a layer of skin. I didn’t want to talk about Jack with Marcus and I certainly didn’t want anyone telling me how broken I looked.
“It was worse after you left, if that makes you feel any better.”
Marcus gasped. “Are you fucking serious right now? No, that doesn’t make me feel any better! Damn it, Emma. I hate what I did to you, and I feel like shit every single day knowing that I left you – with Jack, no less to take care of what’s mine.”
I don’t know what in the hell he had to be so pissed about, but I certainly wasn’t anyone’s possession. The very mention of the word ‘mine’ threw me back to visions of Jack and how he so adamantly declared that Logan and I were his to protect and care for. How did it get so screwed up so quickly?
“I’m not yours,” I said through tears that began falling. I hated them. I hated every single tear I let fall for Jack, because I knew. I knew this was going to happen the minute I first touched him at that stupid Irish Pub. I knew I would let him in and he would crush my heart into a million pieces and that was exactly how I felt right then.
I looked down at the floor, almost as if I could see my heart beating on the tiled floor at my feet.
Before I knew it, I was wrapped in arms that at one time, had been my favorite place in the world to be.
“I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant.” Marcus held me while my sobs were the only sounds filling the entire apartment.
When I quieted down and stopped shaking, I realized who was holding me and slowly backed away.
“Sorry,” I said while wiping my tears and giving him the most pathetic smile ever. “I just…I didn’t mean to do that.”
Marcus took a few steps away and rested his hands at his sides. “You know, what I was going to finish saying was that I hate that he’s broken you like this. But the other part of me….the other part is glad you’re single again.”
My eyes widened and he held up a hand to stop me. What in the hell was he saying?
He held his arms out, and looked at me nervously. “I always wanted this, Emma. You, me, and our child. I know I fucked it up. I know I don’t deserve another chance, and I definitely know now is a really bad time to even bring it up. But being with Logan at the movie tonight, and the sleepover last week? It’s just not the same without you. I want my family. I want the family we – you and me – always wanted together. And you might think I’m an asshole for saying this now, but I’d hate myself if I bit my tongue and didn’t tell you.”
What did I say to that? I stared at him, my eyes wide with wonder and amazement at the proclamations I just heard, and just stared. I don’t know how long I looked at him, feeling – who knows what in the hell I was feeling at that moment. I missed Jack. And I loved Jack. My heart was broken from the way Jack treated me. But at one time, I loved Marcus. He had been it for me and I was so sure when I was young, and twenty, that I had found the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with.
I looked at him. Really looked at the man he had become and even though I hadn’t looked at him with anything more than an attraction before, now, I saw him. He made my stomach flutter as we stared at each other in my little galley kitchen. He was taller, his shoulders broader, and his jaw more square. He had that same smile. It was lazy, like he didn’t care about anything in the world, but I knew how passionate he was. I knew what his hands felt like when they caressed my body softly, gently, as he tenderly made love to me for the first time and took my virginity. He cared for me. He used to, many years ago and I could see that same protective, but loving look he gave me now.
He was nothing like Jack.
Marcus….this Marcus, was safe, and he was the father of my child. Did I owe it to Logan to see if we could make something work again? Did I owe it to my son to see if we could be a family the way we had originally planned?
“Marcus,” I finally said, ending our staring contest. I didn’t know what I wanted to say. I didn’t know if I should say okay, or get the hell out of my house, or what. It was too confusing. Too emotionally surprising, given the shitty week I had had.
My eyes grew wider, and my stomach flipped as he closed the few spaces between us and cupped my cheek with his hand. It was soft and tender, just like I remembered and I found myself leaning into the warmth he provided.
“I don’t need an answer, tonight,” he said softly. I tilted my head up to look at him and blinked. His green eyes were softened; just like they used to be when he looked at me in college. I remembered that look. Did he really feel the same way he used to? “I just needed you to know. But please,” he said and nodded towards the living room, “don’t take Logan away. Don’t leave me, until you know for sure it’s the best thing for everyone.”
I swallowed slowly, thinking of what he was asking from me, and then I froze. Marcus leaned forward softly, aligning his firm and muscular body with mine just like he used to. It sent chills down my spine. How could I feel like this, with Marcus –the man I hated more than anyone just over a month ago? But I did, and my body responded before my heart could tell it to back the hell up.
Before I knew it, his soft, warm lips were pressing gently against my forehead. I did nothing. I couldn’t move. I almost wanted to put my hands on his waist to see what he felt like, but before I could even finish the thought, much less act on it, he pulled away and smiled down at me.
