Page 61 of His to Seduce
Chapter 20
David
Coming clean to Camden the other night hadn’t exactly been the cleansing experience I was hoping it would be. It wasn’t easy to bare everything to her, knowing she was holding back from me. She pushed me to open up and yet hid herself. The dichotomy was as frustrating as it was enticing. I was drawn to her because I knew that, in a way, we were similar. I was also drawn to her because when I got close, I couldn’t withstand the lure of her silky, auburn hair and her creamy, pale skin, and her delicious scent that always smelled soft and sexy.
I went to Aidan first, choosing not to throw my shit at the guys I’d known since college all at once.
If fists were thrown because they were pissed at me, I could take them one-on-one, with the exception of Declan. No one could handle that beast. I figured Aidan would be the hardest, though, like ripping a Band-Aid off the hairiest parts of your body.
His son, Derrick, had died only six months ago. We talked about him infrequently, mostly because the pain was still too fresh for all of us.
The first time I saw Aidan, I was throwing a football around with Declan and Tyson. Sorority girls were at our feet, sunning themselves on blankets. Music blared from nearby speakers, and on a Friday afternoon, it seemed like barely any of the students were actually headed to class.
Then there’d been Aidan. Backpack draped over his shoulders, diaper bag slung over the handles of a stroller as he pushed his son through the middle of campus, looking at us with a longing so deep I felt it in my gut.
That night, the four of us had hung out at his place in family housing, ordered pizza, drunk a few beers, and for the first time in my life, I learned how to change a diaper.
We were inseparable after that. Through all of it, all the years, and helping him raise Derrick, I’d never seen Aidan look at me like I was the biggest pile of shit he’d ever stepped on, the way he was doing now.
Over a couple of beers and burgers, I told Aidan everything I’d told Camden the night before and when I was done, he lowered his beer to the table between us. “You’re an asshole—you know that, right?”
I resisted the childish urge to proclaim it takes one to know one. “Yeah, I know.”
“Derrick would hate that, David. He’d hate thinking that you blamed yourself for something out of your control. Even you admit that it was a long shot you could have saved her. How do you know, had you been on your game one thousand percent like always, that you wouldn’t have still lost that patient?”
“I don’t know,” I snapped, the anger of that night still igniting in my veins. “That’s the problem. I don’t know, and I can’t know.”
I hated the way he looked at me. Despised the pity in his eyes, the grief still evident so many months later. “Shoulda-coulda-wouldas will kill you.” He pulled his gaze from mine and settled it behind my shoulder. I knew where he was looking. The laughter had started getting louder, which meant Camden and Chelsea and the rest of the girls minus Blue, who was still on her honeymoon, had just ordered margarita pitcher number two.
I saw the way merely looking at Chelsea affected him, softened him and lightened the grief that still clung so heavily to him.
My best friend had lost his son. I’d lost a patient. To blame my distraction on Derrick’s death was guilt none of us needed.
“Aidan.” He turned to me, flinching as if surprised he wasn’t alone. “I’m sorry. Sorry I hung on to this bullshit for so long and didn’t come to you. It was so soon, and we were all worried about you—”
“Yeah.” He grabbed his bottle and brought it to his mouth. “But we were worried about you, too. And while I might not have been in the right mindset to listen or help or give a shit then, we’ve all always stood by each other. Remember that next time you think about being a massive dick.”
He slid out of the booth and stood, clamping his hand down on my shoulder, and shook me. “Word of advice?”
I twisted and looked up, stunned by the seriousness of his expression. “Of course.”
“Life is fucking short,” he said, leaning down and lowering his voice. “Do whatever the hell you want, as long as it makes you happy. Enjoy every moment. Derrick, if anything, has to have taught us that. Take the boards in Michigan and practice medicine again, sling drinks behind the bar, or go take over the legacy you were supposed to years ago. Who gives a shit what it is…just figure it out and do it.”
The familiar burn started in my throat and traveled to the backs of my eyes. He kept our gazes locked until I nodded.
“Of course. I get it.”
“Good.”
“I should go talk to Declan.”
Another round of laughter pulled my attention from the doors leading to the kitchen and Declan working furiously behind it. “Deal with the rest of the guys later. Declan’s busy,” Aidan said, smiling at Chelsea. Her head thrown back in laughter, Camden was next to her, shaking her shoulder gently. Her hair was down, untied and rippling as she shook her friend.
With her large, easy smile, she’d never looked more beautiful.
“Right. Later,” I muttered, unable to take my eyes off her. As if she sensed my presence, she turned and looked my way. Smiling softly, she blinked, and pink bloomed on her cheeks.
The innocence of her expression shot to my groin, where my jeans grew tight.
