Page 113 of Dirty Player
He ground his teeth together before snarling at me. When he looked back at Shannon, his green eyes turned to ice. “You aren’t worth it anyway.”
A frustrated sound left her lips and her fingers dug into my waist. He left, the door slamming shut behind him, and as soon as he’d disappeared past the windows, she let me go and stepped away.
I reached for her, but she held up her hands, looking up at me with tears in her eyes.
Damn it. I’d done that. Patrick played a part, I was sure of it, but most of those tears were for me.
“Don’t,” she said, shaking her head. “I want you to go, too.”
I scowled at her. “No.”
“God, Oliver.” She paused and pressed her hands to her cheeks. “This is too much today. Too much this week. Please, I don’t know why you’re here or why you did all that, but you have to leave. I can’t do this right now.”
Tears dripped down her cheeks. I was frozen helpless—unable to reach for her, unable to soothe her.
“Everything I just said to him is true.”
“And yet you treated me the same.”
Fuck. It was true. Mostly. “I know, and I’m here to apologize. To beg your forgiveness.”
She took another step back. I was losing her in front of my eyes. Pain sliced my chest as more tears fell.
“Please, Shannon. Let me hold you. I’m so sorry for the hospital, for yesterday, for not chasing after you. I was a dick, and I know it. I didn’t mean it. I was angry and terrified. It was mydad,Shannon—the guy who taught me everything, and I was thinking the worst.” Emotion clogged my throat and I pulled in a breath. “I was fucking terrified and angry I wasn’t there for him. Was pissed he hadn’t listened to me and stayed home. So fucking pissed that they went to that game when he wasn’t feeling well. It wasn’t you—honest to God, it wasn’t you.”
“This was a mistake,” she said, her chin wobbling. God, I hated that I’d done this to her. “We…it was sex…and then, we just got swept away in all of it. But we don’t work…”
“We do.” Damn it like hell we didn’t. We worked better than anyone I knew. “Give me this chance. I didn’t fuck Bethany. I didn’t touch her, except when she helped me to my room. But I swear to God. I knew I had hurt you. I had so much in my head, I just…didn’t handle it right. I know that.”
“I know you didn’t do anything with her. I believed her.”
Not me. Her words made her point, punching me in the chest. “But not me. You wouldn’t have believed me.”
Shit.
Fuck.
“Listen to me,” I said, reaching for her again as she stepped back. I took her hands in mine and held them, despite the urge to pull her to my chest, to wrap my arms around her so she couldn’t get away. “Fuck, I’m so sorry for hurting you. I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have said anything at the hospital. I should have hugged you and let you help me. I should have let you be there for me, but besides my parents I’m just so fucking used to not having someone in my corner—not really, not genuinely. I didn’t think, and I hate that I hurt you. Yesterday I had to get them home, and I was hungover and I wasn’t thinking clearly. I should have come after you. I should have dropped to my knees and begged your forgiveness. I’ll do it now, if you want.” I stopped and tried for a grin that failed.
“You hurt me,” she whispered. “Patrick always did and I always gave in.”
“I’m not him.” She had to know that, at least. “I’m not him. You know that. I’ve shown you I’m not that guy, but it doesn’t mean I’m perfect, either. We’ll hurt each other. Frequently. That’s the ugly truth of life, but it doesn’t mean we stop trying. It doesn’t mean we can’t use it to make us stronger instead of ripping us apart. Please. Give me a chance to make this better.”
She choked on a cry, and I stopped resisting. I pulled her to me until her head hit my chest and my hands wrapped around her lower back.
“God, I’m so sorry. I love you, Shannon, and I hate that I hurt you. It fucking kills me. Forgive me. At least give me the chance to earn it.”
I held her while she cried and sniffed.
I held her until she collapsed her weight into me.
I held her until a shiver rolled through her and she finally…fuckingfinally…wrapped her arms around me and held me back.
“Okay,” she whispered. She looked up at me, pressed her chin to my chest, and all the pain I was feeling evaporated when her eyes met mine. “Okay. I forgive you.”
“Don’t.” I pressed my hand to her cheek. Satisfaction and victory rolled through me when she melted into my touch. “Let me prove to you that I’ve earned it.”
“You have,” she said, her lips twitching. “You’re here.”
