Page 34 of Vardaesia
It was almost like he wanted another reason to be mad at her. But Alex refused to rise to his bait.
“Then let’s talk,” she said. She gestured to the couches, wanting to dissolve the tension in the air. “Why don’t we sit?”
Jordan didn’t respond other than to cross his arms. D.C. and Bear shared an uneasy look, before D.C. said, if quietly, “I think we’re good standing.”
It didn’t matter how hesitant her words were, how troubled her expression was, because what D.C. said still hurt. It was a line in the sand, them against Alex. And even though she understoodwhyit was happening, that didn’t make it any easier. All she could do was remind herself that while things looked bad from their point of view, she wasn’t at fault, and soon they would realise that. They were herbest friends—they were herfamily. Regardless of how they were treating her, she still loved them. So as hard as it was, she kept her thoughts to herself and took a seat, keeping her body loose and relaxed, despite feeling anything but calm.
“Suit yourselves,” she replied, hating that she now felt almost victimised with them looming over her. Shifting into a more comfortable position—impossible really, when it was like she was sitting on glass—she said, “I guess I’ll start at the beginning?”
“And you’ll tell the truth?” asked Bear warily.
It took everything in Alex not to react to the implied dig. “Of course.”
Jordan’s tone was unlike anything she’d ever heard from him when he said, “That’ll be a novelty. But hey, better late than never.”
“Stop it.”
The two words were dredged up from somewhere deep within her, an automatic response that she couldn’t have quieted if she’d tried.
With her voice low and carrying an edge of warning, Alex continued, “I get that you’re upset right now, Jordan, but please don’t speak to me like—”
“Upset?” he interrupted, his gaze flashing. “Why the hell would I beupset, Alex?”
“I—”
“You might have been able to manipulate my mind, but you can’t control what comes out of my mouth. Not anymore, at least—but who knows what else you ordered me to do as your puppet.” His eyes were like blades of ice as he finished, “Seems like I was hardly better off Claimed by you than I was by Aven.”
Alex flinched so violently that her whole body lurched, bile rising up her throat.
“Watch it, Jordan,” Kaiden warned, he and Declan having left the table to join them.
“She doesn’t need you defending her,” Jordan snapped back. “She’s meant to be saving the world,remember?” His acidic inflection had Alex flinching yet again, if not as strongly. “If she can’t accept that her actions have consequences, then we might as well go home right now, since there’s no way we’ll make it through the next four Gates with her manipulating us at every turn.”
“That’senough,” Kaiden said, one hand coming down to rest firmly on Jordan’s shoulder, while the other pointed in the direction of his room. “You need to go and calm down before you say anything else you can’t take back.”
But it was already too late for that. The damage had been done the moment Jordan had said he’d been her puppet—when he said she’d treated him no better than Aven.
“I don’t need to calm down,” Jordan stated furiously, shaking off Kaiden’s grip. “What I need is forher”—he speared a finger at Alex—“to finally stop lying to us.”
With that, she was done.
Blinking rapidly against the burn of Jordan’s hateful words, Alex stood slowly from the couch until she was on the same level as the others. She took in all their faces—Kaiden and Declan’s concern, Bear and D.C.’s distress, Jordan’s glacial anger—and finally found the words that had left her during the worst verbal attack she’d ever experienced.
“I’ve never lied to you.”
Jordan’s features darkened with disbelief, but she cut him off as he opened his mouth to retort with what was undoubtedly another cutting reply.
“I may have kept secrets, but I have never,everlied to you.”
Incredulous, Jordan leaned forward until he was right in her face, and he bellowed, “You stole mymemories, Alex! You had no right!”
“I hadeveryright!” Alex screamed back, losing all of her remaining control. “You have no idea what was at stake! No idea what would have happened if Aven learned about the deception—no ideathe risks Niyx took to keep acting like Aven’s loyal best friend, and the sacrifices he had to make.” Her voice was raw as she continued, “I did what I had to do to protect someone I loved so that he could help protecteveryoneI love— includingyou—and I will not apologise for it.”
She swallowed back tears in the stunned silence that followed, and then whispered, “I can’t believe you would compare me to him. Everything he does is to hurt people; everything I do is tohelp them.” Her voice broke as she finished, “You of all people should know that by now.”
Not even the remorseful wince that flashed across Jordan’s face could stop Alex from turning away and heading for the safety of her room. The pain inside her was unbearable; she couldn’t handle them seeing how upset she was. But more than that, she couldn’t handle hearing anything else, not when she was so close to breaking.
She wanted to slam the door as she stepped through it, just as Jordan had done earlier that day, if only to release some of the emotion that was burning within her. But maturity won out and she closed it with a barely audible sound before moving straight to her bed, picking up a pillow, and screaming into it. The material muffled the horrible, aching noise, even when she continued on and on and on until she was lightheaded enough that she had to stop, her throat now raw. Only then did she realise she wasn’t alone.
