George sighs on the other end of the phone. “You already have access to the answers that you’re seeking, you just haven’t found them yet.” Before I can even respond, the phone line cuts out. Taking in my surroundings I find myself standing at my front door, I fumble with my keys as I unlock it, close it behind me and slide down onto the cold tiles. A whirlwind of thoughts fly around in my mind, I fail miserably to latch onto any of them. I see black dots in my vision before I pass out. Another anxiety attack pulls me under.
* * *
Tanner
Leaning forward onto my handle bars, I look up at Kinsley’s front door. I was only here yesterday. Inevercome around two days in a row, but like an itch I couldn’t scratch, something told me I should swing past. If I had it my way, she wouldn’t leave my side. This girl is addictive, but she has kept me at arm’s length since the day we met. The playful visits have been fun but I want more; Ineedmore. She doesn’t know it yet, but Kinsley Fallon is mine. I’m just biding time until I show her who she belongs to.
Slipping the key into the lock I try to open the door — it won’t budge. It feels as though something is pushed up against it.What the fuck.Deciding I don’t want to cause a scene today, I jog around the back and enter through the laundry.
The apartment is silent. “Kins?” I shout, but as I walk down the hall and towards the front door, I see her. My heartbeat thunders in my chest at the sight of her; slumped against the hardwood door, her hair slick with sweat and breathing shallow. Rushing over I pull her into my arms. “Hey — Kinsley? Wake up!” After the longest thirty five seconds, she opens her heavy eyes, but they aren’t focusing yet. “Fucking hell, please look at me.”
“Tanner?” she whispers.
“Hey, yeah, it’s me.” I lift her into my arms and carry her upstairs, she stays quiet, still dazed. The feeling of her in my arms, leaning into me is almost too much. I place her in bed and her heavy eyes look over me before they close again.
“Stay,” she mumbles as she drifts off to sleep – or passes out again? I have no idea what is going on. All I know is that I’m not going anywhere; this girl has never asked me to stay, and if this is my one shot at breaking down one of her walls, I’ll take it.
Sliding my phone out of my jacket pocket, I send off a text, cancelling the rest of my day. I only had two property evaluations to do, they can wait. I toss my jacket onto the couch in the corner of her room and take in her space. The floor-to-ceiling bookcase is full, perfectly organised showcasing what must be her favourites, she has this corner set up as a little reading nook. Floor pillows and a basket of throws sit alongside the couch. As much as I drop past, things seem to escalate so fast that we never make it up here. That thought alone forces me to adjust myself.
Kinsley Fallon is a drug — intoxicating, forbidden and utterly addictive.
I place a glass of water and two pain relief tablets on her bedside table before undressing down to my boxers. Pulling back her blankets I climb into bed with her, the silk sheets cool against my skin. I sweep her hair off her shoulder and she mumbles something at my touch, wiggling backwards until her back is pressed to my front. My chest tightens and I can’t distinguish the feeling within me, the flames of desire and lust I have for this woman are tangling with sparks of an emotional connection, one which I’ve suppressed for many years.
Chapter Four
Kinsley
Pain radiates through my head with each thrum of my pulse, am I hungover? Reaching under my pillow for my phone, I freeze when I feel a warm, hard body pressed up behind me.
It must be mid-afternoon, I can see the sun shining through the floor-to-ceiling windows. An arm wraps around my waist and pulls me into them, nuzzling into my neck.Fresh linen, coffee, and something I’m yet to pinpoint; Tanner. Flashes from this morning come back to me. The cafe, the phone call, the anxiety attack. I must have passed out, but how did Tanner get here and why is he wrapped around me like I have confessed my love for him? I know better than to let my feelings get involved in our situation-ship. But as I glance at his tattooed arm draped over my waist I decide that whatever the reason, I’m going to enjoy every damn moment of this whilst it lasts.
He must sense that I’m awake because he rolls me over gently until I am lying in his arms, facing him. “You okay?” he asks.
“Honestly, I’m still trying to piece together why you’re here.”
Tanner laughs, keeping the mystery alive by sitting up and reaching across to the bedside table. He collects a glass of water and two tablets he must have prepared earlier. “Take these, they’ll help with any impending headaches.”
I take them without questioning him. I can see the medication is just paracetamol, and the headaches I normally get when I deal with the likes of this morning are not overly enjoyable. Pulling me back into his arms, I rest my head on his chest. I’m still too emotionally exhausted to put my walls back up right now.
When Tanner finally speaks, it’s gentle and almost cautious. “Are you going to fill me in on why I found you passed out in your entryway?”
I could tell him the truth about what triggered me this morning, but that would be the beginning of the end. If he knew the lengths I was going to in search of answers, he would get involved and in turn, that would put him at risk. I’ve already lost too much, I don’t want to lose him as well.
Would it be so bad to open up about my struggles with anxiety though? The only person who knows my past is Jesse and I had no choice in telling him, he was there through it all. I decide to keep my response simple before my brain spirals further into a mess of overthinking.
“Just a bad day, it happens sometimes,” I sigh. “I must have passed out during a panic attack.”
Kissing me on the head, he doesn’t push the issue. I can’t help but feel as though he isn’t convinced by my answer. “Next time you feel one coming on, you call me.”
I shake my head against his bare chest, the last thing I need is someone keeping tabs on me. With that thought Tanner grabs my chin and lifts it so I meet his piercing blue eyes. “It wasn’t an offer, Kinsley.”
I allow my eyes to trail over his left peck, taking in a tattoo I haven’t seen before; wild floweringBaby’s Breathclimbs across his heart; it’s beautiful. There is nothing gentle about his touch in this moment though; his eyes grow dark and a look crosses his face which I’ve never witnessed before. Despite that, as I stare up at him, a sense of comfort washes over me. I feel safe. Considering safety and comfort aren’t things I often feel, it should be something to cling to, right? So why do I feel the urge to run, to run as far away from here as possible?
Because as soon as you find comfort in him, he will leave. Don’t be that silly little girl who everyone abandons, Kinsley. Run away, before you get left behind again.
I take a deep breath, desperately trying to rid the little voice in my head. His touch brings me back into the moment, his knuckles catching the tears I didn’t realise I had let fall.
“Don’t cry, I’m here.”
