Page 61 of A First Sight
Like why I left Drake’s penthouse that Sunday night. I knew my brother’s condo was fixed by then, so I went there. I told Carson I didn’t want to be with Drake anymore and assured him that he hadn’t tried to take advantage of me.
“Today’s the big day,” my brother said. He was right.
When I’d returned to the orchestra, after my week suspension, Nehemiah had taken one look at me and suggested taking another two weeks to recuperate. I had tried to convince him I was fine, but he had insisted.
Carson could see the worry on my face. “You’ll do great. Remember I’m only a phone call away if Dale gives you any problems.”
I gave him a long hug. “Thank you.”
“I heard the weather’s supposed to clear up later this week,” Carson said as I released him and he got himself a cup of coffee. “We should do something.”
“Does London have anything?” I asked. “I’ve been wanting to see one of her performances.”
“I’ll ask her,” he said. “Did you leave me any sausage?”
“Of course.” I pointed. “I put the lid on, since I figured you’d be out in a few minutes.”
“Have I told you lately that you’re my favorite sister?”
I laughed.
He grinned, eyes sparkling. Not for the first time, I wondered about his single status. As far as I knew, no one in the family ever saw him with a date, male or female, and no one asked him about relationships. With his career choice, most people assumed he was gay.
“By the way, I might work late tonight, so you should pick up dinner for yourself,” he said as he loaded up his plate.
“Everything going okay with your new line?” I asked, referring to the swimwear he was designing for a show in May. Carson made beautiful but practical clothes for all genders and body types.
He nodded. “I just got a couple of ideas that I want to try out, and you know how I get when I’m focused on something.”
I was the same way. I could immerse myself in music to where I lost all sense of time and place.
“Want me to get extra so you can reheat it when you get home?”
He dropped into the seat next to me. “Depends on what you get.”
“I know what you like,” I said.
He chuckled and turned his attention to his plate.
I glanced at my phone. I needed to get dressed for rehearsal. It was time to go back to work.
FORTY-FIVE
DRAKE
The columnsof numbers started blending together sometime around noon. I blamed it on hunger and forced myself to take a real lunch break, also to avoid Mel giving me the concerned look he had perfected the past two weeks.
Mel, Stellan and Uncle Ben. They all only knew a little. I couldn’t bear to talk about Maggie.
I pushed those thoughts down like I’d done a million times already over the last two weeks.
To help, I was working myself to exhaustion and hitting the gym every night. My muscles were sore from pushing them past their limit, but if I was going to be awake all night, I preferred it be because my body hurt instead of how much I’d hurt Maggie.
I closed my eyes and rested my head in my hands. “Fuck.”
The guilt made me nauseous, and my head was pounding.
I had fucked up.
