Page 65 of The Boss
Guilt.
Not for having sex with him, but rather guilt over not having been truthful regarding my research into Manhattan Records prior to applying for the internship. I hadn’t been stalking Nate, no matter what he thought, but I had known more about the company than I’d let on. Omitting that information years ago might not have been the most honest thing to do, but it hardly had any bearing on my relationship with Nate. Or my non-relationship. Or however we would have labeled it if things hadn’t completely blown apart. The private parts of my personal life didn’t need full disclosure just because he thought they did.
These were the sorts of things I’d had circling my mind almost non-stop since I’d kicked him out. Little voices telling me how I’d done the right thing and equally loud voices saying that he’d been right to be suspicious of me. That was the biggest problem. I could understand why he’d gotten upset. I told myself that if he’d simply asked questions, then he could’ve taken the higher moral ground, but he’d lost his temper and started accusing me of things.
I wasn’t going to put up with that, no matter what my own wrongs had been.
The last time I’d gotten this angry at him for being an asshole, he’d pursued me at work. If he tried the same thing this time, I needed to have a plan in place. Unfortunately, by the time I finally managed to fall asleep, I still hadn’t decided the best way to handle the situation.
I arrived early enough to avoid the main morning rush and went straight to my desk, the day’s plan firmly in place. Once I checked through my email, I’d have an idea of any pressing matters I needed to discuss with Mr. Hancock when he got in. Once I finished talking to him, I’d go to Ms. Lamas to see what she needed done. Unless she called me in first.
I was becoming quite adept at juggling the two schedules. Since they hadn’t yet found another assistant to take Flora’s place, I was still doing twice the work. I appreciated the distraction as well as the excuse to avoid people, but it didn’t make the work any less involved.
If I decided I needed to leave Manhattan Records, I wanted to be sure I could get good recommendations from both Mr. Hancock and Ms. Lamas, and doing quality work was the best way to do that. I wondered if I should give them a heads up that I was considering going somewhere else so they could up the hunt for an assistant. I wouldn’t feel right, leaving them in the lurch.
I couldn’t believe I was seriously thinking about quitting.
Before I’d gotten involved with Nate, I’d never considered leaving. I didn’t have some overwhelming desire for a career in the record business, but I didn’t have something else I wanted to do either. Why would I throw away the years I’d put into something that could be a career because I’d made a stupid decision? Okay, I’d made the decision more than once, but it’d really been the same decision…right?
It wasn’t going to be an issue, I reminded myself. Because I was done with Nate. Forever. No more going to his penthouse or his office or opening the door when he showed up drunk. No more sex.
Ever.
I’d done just fine without it, and no matter how good it was, it wasn’t worth all the shit that came with it.
I could focus all my energy on work. That’d be good. Build a great portfolio to help me find a job when I left here. There was a goal I could get behind.
“Miss Webb.”
I looked up to see Mr. Hancock standing in front of my desk. The somber expression on his face made my stomach flip. Something was wrong.
“Yes, Mr. Hancock?” I rubbed my palms dry on my pants and tried not to look like my heart was in my throat.
“Mr. Lexington would like to see you in his office.”
Dammit. I didn’t want to go. Every time I went, I ended up doing something I regretted. But he’d called Mr. Hancock instead of calling me directly. That had to mean something, right? That he wanted things to be professional.
Still, I couldn’t help but try to put it off. “Right now?”
“Yes.” Mr. Hancock started to walk away, but then he turned back. “Is everything all right, Miss Webb?”
I smiled and nodded, hoping my expression didn’t look as fake as it felt. “Everything’s fine.”
The lift of his eyebrows told me he didn’t believe me, but he didn’t call me out on it. As he walked away, I stood and made my way down the familiar hallway to Nate’s office. I was tempted to finally knock on Mr. Kordell’s door, talk to him before I handled whatever it was Nate wanted. I couldn’t do it, though, not if things between Nate and I were still…unfinished.
I knocked on his door.
“Come in.” The words were flat.
When I walked into his office, Nate was still sitting behind his desk. He raised his head, but his eyes focused somewhere over my shoulder rather than meeting my gaze. His face was a mask of nothing. No anger. No guilt. Nothing.
“Mr. Hancock said you wanted to see me?” I moved toward the chair he’d had me kneel on last week.
“Don’t bother to sit.”
I stopped, wondering what he would tell me to do next and how I’d refuse him.
“This isn’t going to take long,” he continued. “You’re fired.”
