Page 38 of The Boss
Ashlee, on the other hand…
Twenty-Three
Ashlee
I’d hadtwo mothers until I was thirteen. My biological mom, Roberta Webb, and her girlfriend, Mona Wadsworth. They’d been together three years by then, and they’d agreed they wanted a child. For physical reasons, Mona hadn’t been able to carry me or even use her eggs, so Mom was the only one tied to me by blood. Since Mona had never formally adopted me, when she finally left, she had no legal or biological claim to me. Something I’d always been glad for.
Mona leaving us had made Mom and me closer. Then, four years later, Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. Since Mom’s family had disowned her when she’d told them she was a lesbian, all we’d had was each other. And we’d always been enough.
After I told her about Nate, she hadn’t chided me about anything except the work thing, but I couldn’t blame her for that. When I’d left his place, he’d assured me that this aspect of our personal lives would never cross over into business, but Mom had still told me to be wary.
I reminded myself of that as I washed up my dinner dishes and put them away. I needed to stop obsessing over what had happened. I had to be able to show up at work on Monday morning and act like it was completely normal for me to have been out with Nate on Friday night. My work had to be impeccable until it became clear to everyone that I’d earned my place at Manhattan Records with quality work. Not sex.
With Flora having been fired, I’d be the only one doing everything for A&R. Which meant if I went in on Monday looking like I had a debauched weekend, the gossip mill would eat me alive. But, if I came in with a list of artists I’d researched on my days off, specifically because I knew I had to pick up the slack, it would be a huge step in the right direction.
I grabbed a water from my fridge and settled on my couch with my laptop. As I pulled up various sites and tapped out notes, I found myself getting into the rhythm of the work, remembering that even though I hadn’t chosen this profession because of a long desire to be a part of the music industry, there were parts I’d learned to love.
A knock on my door drew me out of my work headspace, and I glanced at the time, surprised to see that I’d been doing this for more than an hour. I set down my laptop and went to the door. A quick peek through the peephole gave me another surprise.
Nate.
What the hell was he doing here?
I opened the door and stepped back, motioning for him to come inside. Whatever conversation he wanted to have, I wanted it to be away from my neighbors. My business with Nate wasmybusiness, and I didn’t want it spread around, no matter what he was here to say.
He looked different than usual, wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt rather than the suit I was accustomed to seeing him wear. His hair looked damp, as if he’d showered not too long ago.
“Is everything okay?” I asked, suddenly aware that I was wearing a pair of two-year-old leggings, as well as a ratty t-shirt that hung off one shoulder and did nothing to hide the fact that I wasn’t wearing a bra.
“No.” Nate’s gaze raked over my body, moving from head to toe, and then back up again. “Everything’s not okay.”
His voice was rough, but the heat in his eyes made me think that he wasn’t talking about work. I crossed my arms and tried not to read too much into things. He wasn’t my boyfriend. I needed to wait until he spelled things out a little more clearly.
“I can’t get you out of my head.” He ran his hand over his hair, not seeming to notice or care that his normally impeccable hair was a mess. “Why can’t I get you out of my head?”
He looked at me expectantly.
“Seriously?” I laughed and shook my head. “Are you really expecting me to have an answer for that?”
One side of his mouth tipped up. “Honestly, I was hoping.” He sighed. “This isn’t…dammit.”
This was the point where I could tell him that I couldn’t help him because I wanted things to go back to how they’d been before he’d even met me. Maybe he’d be a bit embarrassed, but he’d have all day tomorrow to get over it, and even when we were both at work, we didn’t have to see each other.
Except…
“You’ve been on my mind too,” I admitted quietly. “But I don’t know what that means any more than you do.”
I waited for him to say something. Anything. Though what, I didn’t know. All I did know was that I needed him to be the one to initiate what we did next. Honestly, I wanted to sleep with him again, but I wasn’t going to bethatwoman. I’d promised him that I wouldn’t be weird because he’d been my first, and I intended to keep that promise.
He closed the distance between us, and it suddenly became hard to breathe. How had I forgotten how much bigger he was than me? Adrenaline dumped into my system, but I wasn’t afraid. Maybe a little nervous, but mostly excited, eager.
Would it feel different when he kissed me this time because my body now associated Nate’s kisses with more intimate things?
“Do you remember your safe word?” he asked.
I nodded, but when he didn’t say anything for several seconds, I spoke, “Beagle.”
He reached out and hauled me against his body hard, his other hand moving to cup the back of my head as he bent his head and covered my mouth with his. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pushing myself up on my toes as high as I could go. I made a soft sound as his tongue slid across the seam of my lips, and his fingers dug into my scalp. I parted my lips, and his tongue plundered my mouth, exploring even as the hand at the small of my back dropped to my ass.
