Page 98 of The Duke's Virgin
I wanted to breathe him in.
I wanted to sink against his chest and justfeelhim again.
Only my pride kept me from doing so. Generally, I was of a mind that pride could be a stupid motivator at best, but it had kept me going the past few weeks, and I wasn’t going to kick it to the curbnow.
“Stacia?”
“Why are you doing this to me?” My voice broke.
So much for pride.
Glaring up at him, tears burning my eyes, I half-yelled and half-sobbed. “Why? Don’t you think you’ve humiliated me enough? Slammed me hard enough? I wasn’taskinganything from you. But you kept pushing me to drink the damn champagne, and I couldn’t and…” My voice hitched, then broke and what little strength remained in my legs drained away. Although having him touch me practically hurt, I couldn’t help but be a little grateful because if he hadn’t caught me, I would have collapsed at his feet. And wouldn’tthatjust top off my humiliation nicely?
Still, as he swept me up into his arms, I shoved against him. I wanted to be away from him, from this, from here, all of it.
But he held me close and against my hair, he whispered, “I’m sorry, Stacia. I’m so sorry.”
All the tears I’d been hiding from Emmett, pain from Luka’s rejection, from my parents, the fear, everything poured out.
Vaguely, I was aware he’d sat down on one of the padded outdoor chairs, and I could hear the gusting wind and rain, but over all of that, I heard his soft, endless murmurs. My name, apologies, pleas.
Eventually, the tears passed, and I sat there, too drained and too embarrassed to move.
But then he started talking, and I went to bolt.
His arms tightened. “I don’t have any right to ask,” he said, the words spilling out. “But please listen.”
He didn’t loosen his hold either, talking at such a rapid-fire pace, I couldn’t get a word in edgewise unless I interrupted—and yelled.
“I’m sorry. I hated myself from the second I made you leave, but I was confused and angry and…fuck me, I was jealous, Stacia, understand? I’d spent weeks seeing pictures of you and Emmett together online, and even though I had no right to be, I was eaten up inside with jealousy.Hecould have you, I thought. He wasn’t chained to a country, culture, to a life that had been set before he’d even been born. That wasn’t me, and part of me even hated him a little for that, because he could have you. Then you showed up at Aeric’s party, and he wasn’t there, and I thought maybe I’d misunderstood, maybe you were only friends. When you told me about the baby, I…fuck, Stacia. I just didn’t think. Please, please,pleaseunderstand, I’msorry. I didn’t think, and I was stupid and selfish, and part of me lashed out because I was hurting. But another part of me that I couldn’t even acknowledge until just the other day…that part of mewantedthat baby, wanted to believe she was mine, thatmaybeyou could be mine except I am who I am and it would get in the way, and I was fucking pissed off that what I wanted more than anything couldn’t happen.”
Another one of those cracks in my heart split open, weeping bitterly.
He stroked a hand down my hair, and I could sense the weight of his gaze on me, all but hear his silent urging.
Look at me…
I didn’t dare.
“Is it too late?” he whispered.
“What?” I said sourly. “Too late for what? For another couple of quick twists in the sheets? For—”
He swiveled me around until I was straddling him, moving so quickly it knocked the breath out of me.
“Forus,” he snarled. He shoved his hands into my hair, a half-wild look on his face. “For us. You want to know why I’m here, Stacia? That’s it. I’mhereforus. Is it too late for that?”
I gaped at him.
He continued to stare at me, his jaw set so tight, the bones stood out in stark relief.
“There can’tbean us.” I shoved against his chest, angry and hurt and furious…and hopeful. “You just raged on about it. Don’t you remember?Youare expected tomarry well, as you so clearly pointed out.”
His face softened. “I couldn’t possibly marry better than you.”
I was still gaping at him when he yanked me closer and slammed his mouth down on mine, his tongue thrusting in deep, stealing my breath. Still, I tried to breathe in, but all that did was draw him deeper. He slid an arm around my lower back and pulled me more firmly against him…and his kiss softened.
“Tell me I haven’t ruined this,” he pleaded against my lips. “Tell me I haven’t ruined us.”
