Liam had pushed me away.
* * *
I foughtwith the hurt and the anger on the cab ride home, staring outside at the cars and buildings we passed without really seeing them.
Because this sort of hurt was unfamiliar to me, I buried and focused on the anger. It was much better to feel anger than hurt anyway.
The therapist in me recognized that this wasn’t a healthy way to deal, but I didn’t reallycareabout dealing with any of this in a healthy way. Besides, it feltgoodto be angry.
Iwasangry.
No, angry didn’t touch it.
I wasfuriouswith my father.
Ignoring how things are with Liam isn’t going to make it any better,that annoying voice said.
Try as I might, I couldn’t completely block out how sick I felt at the way things had gone with Liam.
He’d lose his job.
The logical part of my brain insisted that it wasn’t a surprise that this had happened.
Well, my dad arriving the way he had couldn’t have been planned. That couldn’t have been planned atall.
But Liam had been decidedly careful not to engage in any sort of physical contact with me outside the privacy of either my home or my office. And this was why.
He’d known this could happen.
I hadn’t ever really considered it, and I should have.
If we’d kept ourselves under control until we’d gotten to my home...
“Or we could have locked the door,” I muttered.
We’d both screwed up.
But Liam would lose his job.
I wanted to go back to his place, try again. But he’d pushed me away.
The jerk.
I sniffed and told myself I wasn’t hurt. He was just upset. It was understandable that he needed some time to himself, to think, to deal. Right? Being upset wasnormal.
Hell,Iwas upset.
I hadn’t gone and pushedhimaway though.
My mind swung between hurt and anger the entire trip home, and by the time the cab pulled up in front of my place, I had a headache so intense, I felt half sick.
After paying the fare, I climbed out, arms crossed over my middle. There was an ache deep inside, one that felt like it might not go away for a long, long time.
I let myself into the apartment and took a slow look around. Liam had been here this morning when I left. He was supposed to come back here with me.
Now I had to wonder if whatever we had was over.
And just like that, anger spiraled back up inside me.
