Page 65 of Not Your Romeo
What You Had
Roisin
“Maybe we should go to his house,” I suggested, when Ziggy finally laid the phone down and it didn’t immediately ring again.
He’d been on the phone with one person or another all day and half the evening. Even through dinner, his left thumb was constantly dancing over that keypad.
“This is his house.” He laughed.
I pointedly looked around, having never seen Sauce within our walls.
“He has a new tattoo studio. It’s like a sense of independence for him, he can’t afford to keep the studio and pay rent. So, he pays for the studio, and where a normal person would put an office, he has a blow-up mattress.”
“He’s got a business though, that’s something.” I pointed out.
“Yeah, I guess.” Zig mused, running his fingers over the tattoo on his neck.
I went to the bathroom and got the lotion, holding it out for him. “Clean it first.”
I pointed expectantly and he smiled and moved toward the sink.
“We can go to the tattoo parlor then.” I amended my earlier suggestion.
He washed his tattoo and patted it dry, while explaining, “Talon already did. He texted me instead of calling back to say the place was empty.”
“So, what do we do then?” I huffed, watching him apply the lotion.
Zig smiled and drew me in close, pecking my nose. “It makes me all warm and fuzzy that you said ‘we.’ I love you for it, but if you want the truth, my son is an addict. There isn’t much we can do. Maybe, when this– whatever, wears off, Cane will remember something. Maybe it’s a hallucination and Sauce is off with some girl. I hope it is. Maybe he got into something on his own, I don’t know. He’ll be himself in the morning, and he’s never lied to me. My son, on the other hand, has a long history of being dodgy or selective about facts, sometimes even outright lying, manipulating, he’s like that when he’s on drugs. When he isn’t he’s an amazing kid, but when that little demon climbs on his shoulder and sinks its teeth in, he feeds it. Every. Fucking. Time.”
It was hard to listen to him talk that way. I knew he loved Sauce. His concern was palpable and the fear in his eyes was haunting. Sauce would come down from the drugs and he’d be home, but that fear would remain.
Sean and the Double Nickel gang would see to that. They were never going to let me be happy. Sure, I had the upper hand, for now. He wanted an alliance with Ziggy, and though I wasn’t sure why, I was pretty sure it went beyond Sean’s lust for Sammy Nash. As long as our lives were tangled together, Ziggy and his family would never be free of Sean.
There was nothing I could do to change that fact, but there was something I could do about Sauce.
I waited until after Henny collected his daughter and climbed into bed with my husband. It was two in the morning before he finally stopped tossing and turning and began to snore. I waited until three, to be sure he was deep enough for me to slip from the bed unnoticed.
I thought for sure he’d wake up when I closed the front door. The soft clip of the latch as it rolled into place sounded like a damned cannon in my mind. I cut across the neighbor’s lawn, and was startled when a large dog magically appeared in a window I’d gotten too close to. It wasn’t so much his appearance, but the deep, reverberating sound of his bark that spooked me. Those lungs promised speeds I was no contest for, so I kept it moving.
“Please don’t wake up.” I chanted across the lawn, peeking back to assess the number of lights in the house every few steps.
I didn’t breathe easy until I made it to the park.
What a mess.
I punched the security code into my phone and scrolled through old messages until I found Naz’s number. He was level-headed and fair in business. I preferred dealing with him, but he’d climbed the ladder of the Deuces’ social circle and moved on to other products and territory. Still, I trusted he could get me a meeting with the head of the Deuces, Lando. So, I fired off a message.
I know ya’ll have my husband’s son. Tell Lando I want to speak with him face-to-face. Tell him I want to trade myself for Sauce.
It was a long walk to the bus stop, and Naz appeared in no hurry to respond. Tears burned my eyes and slid down my face as I silently mourned the life I could have had with Ziggy, if I’d been anyone else’s sister.
What a joke.
If I’d been anyone else’s sister, he’d have never looked at me twice.I laughed through my tears at that brutal epiphany. The bus driver looked at me funny, but he didn’t say anything. I sat down and zoned out with my memories of what would end up amounting to nothing more than a vacation.
I’d been free of the Double Nickel gang for a few short weeks, and they weren’t perfect, but the man I’d met was genuine. He had a soul that may have been a little darker than most, but he had a heart few could compete with.
I couldn’t believe I was walking away from him, but how else would he get his son back, and free himself of Sean’s manipulations? He’d almost steered his club to war over Sean’s games. Now, his son was most likely being held hostage because of some ignorance that was antagonized by Sean’s pot stirring.
