“I don’t know,” I admit, my voice tinged with confusion. “I’ve never felt like this before. I keep trying to distract myself—called up a few exes, thought maybe I’d… I don’t know… fill the void or something.”
Kenzie, sitting to my left, arches an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. “And?”
I shake my head slowly, a bitter smile tugging at my lips. “Didn’t work. I hung up halfway through one of the calls. Just couldn’t fake it. I don’t want anyone else.”
The silence that follows is palpable, broken only by the clinking of glasses and the murmur of nearby conversations. The bartender strides past and gives a sardonic snort, flicking a coaster in my direction.
“If your ass gets any more comfortable in that seat, I’m charging you rent,” she quips, her voice carrying a teasing edge.
Laughter erupts around me—Ally, Kenzie, even the strangers sitting close by join in. I attempt to muster a grin, but it falters, my heart still heavy and aching as if weighted down by wet sand.
Ally and Kenzie exchange a glance over my shoulder, a silent conversation passing between them, and then Ally’s lips curl into a knowing smirk, as if she’s concealing a juicy secret just waiting to slip out.
I squint suspiciously at them. “What was that? That look—what are you two up to?”
Ally gives a nonchalant shrug, her fingers wrapping around the cool glass of her cocktail, which shimmers with condensation. She takes a sip, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “Oh, I just… thought I felt a shift in the air.”
I let out a dramatic groan and allow my forehead to drop onto the sticky bar top, which smells faintly of spilled cider and the lingering aroma of aged whiskey. The dull thud reverberates through my skull.
“You two are as cryptic as a riddle wrapped in an enigma.”
Kenzie lets out a light, melodic giggle, but I’m too lost in thought to join in the laughter.
“I’ve never felt this way about a girl before,” I confess, my voice muffled against the wooden surface. “I can’t wrap my head around it. Jinx is just… different. She’s unlike anyone I’ve ever dated. It’s like she turns my brain into a swirling snow globe.”
I lift my head, running a hand through my hair in frustration. The overhead lights feel almost suffocating, and the surrounding chatter swells, pressing in on my senses.
Everything becomes overwhelming, as if my nerves are stretched too thin, buzzing just beneath my skin.
I straighten my spine, my brow furrowing into a deep scowl—an expression that rarely crosses my face. “Why is it so hard for people to just say what they mean? I’m done with the guessing games. No more trying to decipher what anyone really feels.”
Kenzie and Ally freeze, their playful banter halting. A serious exchange of glances passes between them, the teasing spark in Kenzie’s eyes dimming to a more empathetic glow.
Behind the bar, the bartender is busy drying a glass with a checkered towel. She catches snippets of our conversation and arches an eyebrow, her expression a mix of curiosity and mild exasperation.
“Alright, I’m tapping out,” she announces, setting the glass down with a soft clink. “Flag me down if you need another drink. I’m not equipped for this much drama so early in the evening.”
With that, she moves away toward a couple farther down the bar, leaving me to heave a heavy sigh and slump forward on my elbows.
Kenzie’s voice drops to a gentler tone. “You’re not usually this grumpy, Thomas.”
I give a half-hearted shrug, my eyes focusing on the swirling patterns in the wood grain of the bar. “Yeah, well,” I mumble. “Turns out heartbreak makes me cranky.”
Ally slowly twirls the straw in her glass, her eyes fixed on me with a probing intensity.
“Thomas… do you think you’re in love with her?” she asks, and the clinking of glasses and low chatter throughout the bar seem to fade into insignificance.
I blink, momentarily stunned. My initial reaction is to brush it off with a laugh, but something stops me.
I can’t brush her off.
I picture Jinx in my mind, the way her eyes light up with a mischievous twinkle when she laughs, especially during her favorite pastime of crocheting while binge-watching horror movies.
Her hair carries a scent of herbal shampoo mingled with a hint of spice that lingers in the air when she walks by.
Images of her carefully tucking her pet snakes into their enclosures, treating them with the tenderness of a mother putting her children to bed, flash through my mind.
And then there’s the memory of her kiss, one that made me feel significant, cherished.
