“Do I have to?” she whines. I give her a halfhearted laugh.
“You don’t have to do anything, but I think we should.”
She nods reluctantly and we get up off the couch. I follow her to the kitchen, mentally swatting myself the whole way there for thinking about how absolutely divine she looks wearing my clothes and rocking a serious case of bedhead.
We step into the kitchen and all of the quiet chatter goes silent. Ares and Ravyn don’t say a word, and Mom pops an eyebrow as she looks at me and Audra. Not a word, just a look that tells me everything she thinks she knows.
“It’s not what you think,” is all I give her. If they want to know anything else, they have to get it from her. All I get is a hum in response.
Audra takes her regular seat between Ares and Mom, and I take mine on the other side of the table between Dad and Ravyn. Everyone eats in uncomfortable silence. I watch discreetly as Audra picks at her food, mostly just pushing it around her plate. It takes everything in me not to say something, but Mom doesn’t hold back. Unlike me, she doesn’t have to.
“Audra honey, you always eat my cooking. Are you feeling alright?” she asks, genuine concern lacing her words. Audra just nods.
“I’m okay, just not feeling great,” she says, but she can’t look my mom in the eyes. I know if I clocked it, so did my mom.
“Are things alright with you and Tyler?” my mom asks. It’s an innocent question, nothing abnormal or unkind about it, yet time comes to a halt when the words leave her mouth. She’s always been like a second mother to Audra. It makes sense that she would ask, given the context. ButJesus. Fucking. Christ. I want to press rewind and stop my mother before she speaks.
Nobody makes a fucking sound as we wait for Audra’s response. I’m not sure if anyone even breathes as I watch shock, then embarrassment, then pure sadness wash over Audra’s face. I struggle to keep it together, clenching my jaw to avoid saying a single word, until I watch one single tear escape from Audra and slip down her pink cheek.
“Mom,” I mumble in a tone that can’t be misread, adding a subtle shake of my head.I love you, but stop talking.She catches on and nods.
“Oh! Sorry, we don’t have to talk about this right now,” she assures Audra. But it’s too late. The dam breaks as Audra stands and excuses herself before walking hurriedly up the stairs.
I don’t think this moment can get any more tense until Ares and I stand at the same time to follow her. We lock eyes, a look of confusion on his face as his brows pinch together. I turn and walk from the kitchen before anyone says anything, the sound of Ares’ footsteps following closely behind.
We walk in silence up the stairs and down the hall to Ares’ room. He opens the door and to both of our surprises, she’s not there. The bathroom door is wide open and empty, which leaves me knowing exactly where she is.
“Let me talk to her,” I plead. It comes out desperate, but I don’t particularly care. My brother rolls his eyes.
“She’s in your room. Don’t really have a choice,” he counters.
“Just me. Let me go talk to her alone. She told me about what happened last night. I’m sure she’ll tell you in her own time but right now, I already know. So please. Just let me talk to her,” I explain, begging him silently to allow me to do this my way. Ares pauses for a moment, thinking it over, and then nods.
He turns to leave, giving me a pat on the shoulder before he goes. I know it’s as close to a thank you as we can share. Maybe it’s a thank you for being there last night, or maybe for handling this while his hangover is still obviously raging. Either way, I’m just grateful he’s left and that I can get to what really matters; making sure Audra is okay.
I walk into my bedroom and close the door behind me. The most beautiful girl in the world is crying in my bed and there’s nothing I can do to fix it. I sigh, equal parts sympathy and worry escaping from me. I climb in next to her and pull her into my chest.
“Wanna talk about it?” I whisper into her hair.
“I just didn’t expect to be asked that.” She shrugs. “I don’t know why, I mean, it’s common sense that they’d ask me. I just wasn’t ready. I’m not ready,” she chokes out. The words come quick like they’re hot in her mouth. “I’m not ready. I don’t know what to say. What do I say?” she asks, frantic and muffled.
I go to speak but she’s not done. “I can’t tell anyone, but I can’t lie either. I don’t know what to do.” She shakes and cries harder into my chest. “I’m so scared, Roman.”
When she says my name, it slashes across my chest, stinging like someone’s stabbed me right in the heart. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt pain like this, hearing her sob out my name.
I steady myself, holding her tighter to me. I run my hand up and down her back to offer some comfort. “You don’t have to be scared here. You can tell them you broke up and it was ugly and you’re not ready to talk about it yet. They might have suspicions, but they wouldn’t make you talk if you’re not ready. You know that. It’s all going to be okay, Aud,” I reply as I rock her small frame carefully in my arms.
“You can’t always be around,” she says softly. It’s true. I know it’s true, but something in my brain goes full caveman, wanting nothing more than to stomp around next to her every day standing guard. I’d do it too, as crazy as it is.
“I’ll only ever be a phone call away.” It’s the only sane thought I have to offer, the rest reeking of testosterone so heavily I have to question myself.
We spend another fifteen minutes in my bedroom, but we aren’t talking about what’s wrong anymore. Instead, I’m in full distraction mode now, making stupid small talk with her like we used to in high school, just to hear her talk.
“Favorite board game?” I ask. We’re both lying on our backs. Audra’s staring at the ceiling, and I’m staring at her, catching myself tracing the contours of her face with my eyes.
She flips over to face me excitedly. “Candyland, duh! What kind of question even is that?”
She laughs and suddenly I’m seventeen again, standing at the kitchen counter and staring at her green eyes as she peers over her mug of tea, telling me anything I can coax out of her.
