Page 79 of Chaos
Getting up from the couch, I walk into the kitchen and remove their place setting, putting it away in the appropriate cabinets and drawers. Mom gives me a sad smile as I walk around her. She knew that I wanted them to come today. She said it would be no problem if they wanted to, even making extra food for them.
Once everything is away, I walk towards my room. I pick my phone off my bedside table and turn the screen on. Still no word from any of them. Fuck them. If they don’t want to talk to me, I don’t want to talk to them. Wow. I sound like a petulant child, but sometimes that is the way to get through things.
I try calling Dante, hoping he would at least be in the Christmas spirit and would want to talk. But alas, no answer from him either. I did receive a text from a random number this morning that belonged to Nico. He wished me a merry Christmas.
Maybe he would know what’s going on with Dante.
I click on his name to text him. I type out a message, stare at it, and debate whether to send it or not.
Me: Merry Christmas, Nico. Just
wondering if you have heard from
Dante. I can’t get a hold of him.
My finger hovers over the send button before deciding not to. I am just being paranoid. There is probably a good reason why he isn’t answering his phone. Spending time with friends or something. Or maybe some extended family that I haven’t met.
Yeah, that’s why. Keep telling yourself that and you will believe it.
“Dinner is ready!” Mom yells from the kitchen.
I toss my phone on my bed just as it dings. I rush back to it, hoping one of them finally messaged me. My optimism dashes away as the message takes over my screen.
Evan: Merry Christmas, Flower.
I hope you like the gift I sent you.
Gift? What gift? The only random thing I have received lately was that wedding dress in my locker. Oh my god. Did he send that to me? But how did it get in my locker? A chill runs over my body as I remember finding that puffy monstrosity. It did look exactly like the one that he picked out for me.
Still doesn’t explain how it got in my locker. He would have to know someone here who could get in. I try thinking back, remembering if he had any connections here, but there is nothing that comes to mind.
He must mean something else then. No, I didn’t get it, and the second that I do, it will be going right in the garbage. I want nothing from him ever again. If I never hear from him again, it would be too soon. For all intents and purposes, he is dead to me. A part of my past that will stay there.
I delete the message before tossing my phone back on my bed. Walking into the kitchen, the smell of turkey takes over and soothes me. Memories of happy times with my family fill me as I sit next to Mom and across from Grandma and Grandpa.
Once again, I think how much I needed them here. I have loved- for the most part- living out here, but it didn’t banish the homesickness I felt for my grandparents. They have always been such a pivotal part of me, and being so far from them was taking a toll on me I didn’t know.
Dinner is spent laughing and reminiscing. Talking about days that have passed and memories that make everyone happy. I haven’t laughed this much in a long time. By the time my stomach is full, my heart is too.
I help Mom clean up the kitchen. Getting all the leftovers into Tupperware containers. Mom asked if I wanted to make the guys each a plate. I wanted to decline. They missed their chance and didn’t have the decency to say anything. But the more I thought about it, I did. They may be massive, inconsiderate assholes, but there must be a reason for it.
Once everything is put away and the dishes are clean, we join Grandma and Grandpa in the living room. A Christmas movie is playing on the TV that we all gather around to watch.
As the night wears on, exhaustion slowly takes over my body. After feeling like I couldn’t keep my eyes open to save my life, I say goodnight to everyone and excuse myself.
I turn the light on in my room and look over to Midas’s. It has been dark and deserted for days, but I can’t stop myself from checking every time I come in here. The curtains are still open, though I can’t see anything in the dark there. The feeling of someone watching me has me walking to my window to get a better look at his room. I still can’t see anything, but I know someone is watching. The only person who could be is Zane. A chill runs down my spine. I grab my curtain, closing it and blocking him from seeing anything in here.
Please come home soon.
Odin
Stupid fucking Dad. Making us go on this bullshit run for him. I should be at home with my girl. Watching corny Christmas movies and drinking hot chocolate, or whatever the fuck normal couples do during the holidays. I can only imagine that is what normal people do for Christmas, seeing I never once saw my parents doing anything remotely festive this time of year.
Dad would always be at the clubhouse, fucking some random girl every night. While Mom would be at home drunk or high, most of the time it was both. Christmas wasn’t something we celebrated. We didn’t celebrate anything, not even my birthdays. But going to school after the holidays and hearing about what presents everyone got each year hurt.
I would always wonder why my parents didn’t love me enough to at least buy me one present. Thankfully, I had Pops. I would always walk over to the clubhouse on Christmas Eve to enjoy the dinner that his wife always prepared for everyone. That was my one Christmas tradition. Walking miles because my father couldn’t bother to take me with him when he left, so I could enjoy some turkey.
Santa never brought me presents to our house on Christmas morning, but Pops would always make sure there were presents under the tree for me. He always labelled them from Santa, saying I was special, so I got them a day before anyone else.
