Page 70 of Chaos
“I was thinking of picking up some dinner. What do you want?” I ask my mom.
I don’t think either of us has eaten anything since breakfast this morning, and like on cue, her stomach starts to rumble. I grab my keys from my room and my phone before walking outside to my car.
“Where do you think you are going?” A dark voice says.
I jump, scream, and toss my stuff simultaneously. I turn towards the voice in the dark. My hands are clutched at my chest, and my breathing is erratic until I see who is there.
Of course, Midas would be sitting in the dark outside my home. I swear this bastard knows everything. The cherry of his joint shines bright in the darkness that coats his body, and soon the sweet smell is laced in the air.
“You need to work on your special awareness. What if I were your stalker? He could have easily grabbed you and left town before anyone would know better.” His tone is dark. A slight slurring of his words lets me know he has been drinking tonight.
I bend down to pick up my things, ignoring what Midas said. I know he is right. With everything going on with me, you would think I would be more cautious. I am terrified of that exact thing happening, but I guess I never realized just how easily that could happen. I have never had to worry about this kind of stuff before, and I never thought I would have to.
My problem is I don’t want it to take over every aspect of my life. I don’t want to have to constantly look over my shoulder to check for danger. Or be scared to go anywhere because that could be the time that he finally succeeds.
I keep pushing it down. Wanting to forget and pretend like this isn’t my life. But that is naïve, and it really could happen at any time.
Midas stumps out the rest of his joint before tossing it away and walking towards me. He puts his hand out, expecting me to give him my keys. I laugh. Way harder than I should, but I can’t help it. The man is high and tipsy, and he thinks I am going to hand him my keys. He is ridiculous if he thinks I will let him get behind the wheel of my car.
I cross my arms over my chest, tucking the keys away. Midas’s lips curl up into a smirk that looks way too good on him. He nods his head, clearly happy with the decision I made. Everything with Midas feels like a test, and I never know if I have passed or failed them.
He is a peculiar man. I get that he's used to being the leader and always getting what he wants, but he seems to like the fight that I give him even if he won’t admit it.
He doesn’t say anything as he walks past me and towards the passenger side of my car. He raises an eyebrow, asking me if I am coming. I roll my eyes back at him, and I can practically hear his teeth grinding from here, but his eyes light up.
I get into the driver’s seat as he gets in the passenger seat. I turn the car on, and music starts playing through the speakers. Midas Touch by Kiss of Life plays loudly between us.
I look at Midas, watching the grin light up his face as he listens to the lyrics. My cheeks start to redden as we stay there, just staring at each other while the song continues to play. Sure, enough of the lyrics are in a different language, but enough are in English too. And the last thing I need is him thinking I like this song because it has his name in it. He is conceded enough to think that.
Fuck it. I am just going to let the song play and ignore the smug bastard who is sitting next to me. I refuse to change the song, not wanting him to think anything else.
The drive into town to the restaurant isn’t long- thank the lord for that- but the entire way, I could feel Midas’s penetrating gaze on my face. It should make me uncomfortable, but it did the exact opposite. The heat from his stare warmed every inch of my skin. More than a few times, I had to clench my thighs together to stop the need that was rapidly growing in me. I could feel the wet spot growing on my panties the longer he looked at me, and I was tempted to pull the car over so I could climb on him and steal the kiss I so desperately wanted.
The second I turn the car off, Midas reaches across and grabs my chin, turning my head towards me. Before I know what is happening, his lips are on mine. Electricity cracks between us.
You can say a lot of negative things about Midas, but you can’t say that he is a bad kisser. His lips feel rough against mine, but everything about him is rough. His tongue presses against my lips, demanding entrance. The urge to deny him is there, but as his fingers tighten on my chin, I relent. My lips open, allowing him access, and he fully takes it. The kiss goes from hot to vulgar in two and a half seconds. Not that I am complaining.
Midas pulls away from me, only an inch away, and we just stare at each other as we catch our breath. His fingers are still tight on my chin, and the pain is almost soothing. That’s the thing about Midas, he is painful. Everything he does causes pain of some sort, but he doesn’t mean to. Love isn’t something he is accustomed to, and showing it is difficult for him.
Not that I think he loves me. I am still not sure what he feels for me. Being so hot and cold with me. Saying one thing and doing another. It's infuriating, but I can’t stop myself from coming back for more.
Out of the four guys, Midas would be the one to break my heart. He wouldn’t mean it, but he is the only one to have the power to do that. It’s not something I have thought about much, but I think it’s because deep down I feel more for him. He is so broken in so many ways, and I want to be the one to piece him back together.
The others are broken in their own right, but not the same. There is something in Midas that I don’t think was ever whole. A piece of him that was missing before he knew it. At least with the others, they can see the flaws in themselves. They know pieces are missing and have put the work in to find them. Midas hasn’t.
Am I the right person to help him? Yes. No. Maybe. I am still trying to figure that out. But in the meantime, I know he has fixed something in me, and if he hurt me again, I would never recover from it.
All I can do is pray that doesn’t happen.
Better keep my fingers crossed.
Zeus
It’s been a few days since Midas told us what our dads were talking about. I didn’t want to say anything to the guys, but I think I know who Dimitri is. If I am right, then we have something to worry about.
Dimitri Kozlov is a notorious Bratva pakhan. He started as a lackey for the former pakhan and quickly climbed up through the ranks. Then one day, the pakhan was murdered and Dimitri took over. It is believed that Dimitri had killed him, but there was never any evidence to point to him.
The man is ruthless. His main concern in life is himself. He craved money, power, and fame. When life became too “boring” for him in Russia, he moved to the U.S. I don’t know where he went when he came here, but it’s starting to sound like it was here.
