Page 56 of Chaos
We unanimously agreed that the weekly parties to push the drugs weren’t something we were going to do. I love a good party as much as the next guy, but I refuse to be the reason more of that Z shit is pushed onto the streets. I am not naïve enough to think that us not hosting parties will stop it. I know there are more than enough men in the club who are drug pushers or who employ their own dealers, but any little bit helps at this point.
Fallingbrook is my home, and I refuse to let it be turned into what our fathers want. This whole situation has just strengthened my resolve to push my father out of his position and end his tyranny. I don’t care if I need to get the arrested or killed. Any means necessary at this point.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, so there is no school for the rest of the week. I am lying in bed, thinking about what I want to do today. Well, I know what I want to do. I want to spend the day with Serena. Zeus got his alone time, and now I want mine.
I pick up my phone, looking at the time. It’s almost nine in the morning. Not too early, she should be up. I open the message thread between us and send a quick message.
Me: Wanna come over and
spend the day with me?
It doesn’t take long for her to respond.
Serena: Let me get showered and
I will be right over.
I hop out of bed, quickly shower, and get dressed in a pair of light wash jeans and an old Iron Maiden shirt I have. I glance around my room, staring at the mess I haven’t cleaned up in I don’t even know how long.
I scramble to clean as much as I can before the doorbell rings. I shove the last few things under my bed, checking one last time that it isn’t messy, and make my way to the front door.
I open the door and my jaw drops. Serena looks absolutely divine, like a goddess. Her blonde hair is in a half-up up half-down style with pieces framing her face. She looks mouth-wateringly sexy in her tight leggings, navy blue tank top, and leather jacket that is paired with a pair of black ankle-heeled boots.
I never used to pay attention to what girls wore. They all looked the same to me. It didn’t matter because soon enough their clothes would just be a pile on the floor until I was done with them.
With Serena, I take in every inch of her. Memorizing every little detail. The shine in her hair, and the small wave to it. Her makeup. Subtle but makes her feature pop. Her pale green eyes look so vibrant against the black liner and mascara. Her lips were in the softest shade of pink. The way her outfit accentuates every delicious curve on her body.
I could spend the rest of my life looking at her, and it still wouldn’t be enough.
She enters my home, her eyes taking everything in. There isn’t much here. My mom and dad aren’t the best interior decorators. Meaning, the place had the bare minimum. A worn-out couch and TV in the living room. Nothing on the walls, not even a single picture of me growing up. All the ones that we have are in a box tucked in the back of my closet.
The house is the same layout as her house. All four of the houses on the street are the same. When Pops built his house, he built the other three as well. I don’t know what he planned to do with the homes, but eventually gave them to our dads so they would have a place to raise the three of us.
I open my mouth about to ask Serena if she wants to come to my room, but my mom stumbles into the living room. Her eyes are glassy and distant. She doesn’t even notice Serena and me standing here.
Mom has always been a drunk and an addict. When I was younger, I would beg her to get clean, but nothing I said or did could change that. Drugs and alcohol were her escape from the shitty life she chose with my father.
I understand now why she needed to escape. She knew she would never be able to leave my father, she never had a job or any money for herself. Plus, she had me to think about. She loved my father once upon a time, but it was hard for her knowing his whoring ways and the things he did in the club.
She was never strong enough to just leave. She could have taken us anywhere, but she didn’t. I don’t know if my father ever threatened her, but I wouldn’t put it past him if he did.
My mom turned to alcohol as a way to cope. She would get so drunk she couldn’t remember her own name. Drugs came soon after. A better escape than alcohol, but mixing the two seems to be the only way she can function now.
Mom sways as she walks into the kitchen, nearly falling over more than once. I excuse myself and help my mom. I grab her a glass of water, which she immediately bats away and grabs a bottle of wine instead. I keep my mouth shut, knowing there is no point in arguing with her. It won’t get me anywhere.
I make her a sandwich, knowing she hasn’t eaten anything in a few days. If I didn’t learn how to cook when I was eight, I would have starved growing up. Dad was never home, and mom was too out of it to care.
I grabbed my mom’s elbow as she drank wine straight from the bottle and helped her to her room. I turn the switch on and stare at the mess. Clothes, empty alcohol bottles, and garbage line the floors. Typical for her room.
I sit her down on her bed that hasn’t been washed in months. Mom leans over and takes a bottle of pills off her nightstand. She pops a pill that looks curiously familiar and takes a swig of wine to swallow it. I hate watching her kill herself.
Was that the Z that we sold at the Halloween party? I try to grab the bottle from her to look, but Mom just yanks it back to herself. I raise both my hands, signaling that I will leave them alone. Mom gives me a shaky smile and tucks herself into bed.
I kiss her on the forehead before leaving her room, closing the door behind me and walking back over to Serena in the living room.
“Sorry you had to see that.” I rub the back of my neck, nervous that she has seen a bit of my life I wished she hadn’t.
I expected her to wave me off, saying it was fine even though her eyes would tell a different story. Instead, Serena walked over to me, got on her tiptoes, and pressed her lips against mine. Her kiss was like a shot to the heart. Making me forget everything that just happened.
