Page 43 of Chaos
I don’t know how he knew, but he did. I could see it in his eyes. While there was still murderous intent, there was no shock like the other two.
I gritted my teeth and spoke words that tasted like acid on my tongue. All the pain and sorrow I felt for years, but endured because it was all I knew. How I isolated myself for a man that wasn’t even worthy of sharing the same air as me. The feeling I was so consumed by for him was nothing but lies. The pain he put me through, both physically and mentally. How I gained an eating disorder because I didn’t fit a standard of beauty, no matter how beautiful I thought I was.
The visible bruises vs the metaphorical ones left on my soul. How I took the words he said to me to heart, thinking how I would never be enough for him, or anyone. I wasn’t perfect enough to be by his side, even though he was the one who was far from perfect.
His family is a joke. A perfectly crafted lie to seem like they are the ideal American family. Even though they were far from that. Henry, a doting husband/father who worked in politics, wanted to make the world a “better place”. A better place for himself and his rich buddies who profited from the less fortunate.
Olivia, a wife/mother who was lucky enough to be able to stay home and raise her children, even though behind closed doors she barely paid attention to them unless it was something that made her look good. Three children who excelled at everything they did in life.
His father is almost twenty years older than his mother. He was a teacher at a university that Olivia attended. He was one of her professors, and she tried to seduce him to pass his class. It worked, and they kept their “love” a secret for a couple of years until she got pregnant with Evan. After that, she dropped out and gave up everything to be with Henry.
They quickly got married so Evan wouldn’t be a bastard, and they could pretend he was a honeymoon baby. It took ten years before they tried for another child. Sarah was born, shortly followed by Timothy.
When I finally finished with the first time I saw them at school, my throat was dry and my cheeks damp with tears. I promised myself that would be the last time I ever spoke his name again. Evan no longer deserved a second of my time. He deserved no more tears from me.
At the end of my story, I expect them to be all up in arms over everything. I expected having to calm them all down. Stopping them from going on a rampage, but that never happened. I could still feel their bodies coiled tight like a cobra ready to strike, but they didn’t say anything.
Midas was the one I was most worried about. Calling him a loose cannon would be an understatement, but he was the most collected out of the bunch. His eyes had hardened. His body was tense. It was clear to everyone in the room that a plan was cooking away in his head, but whatever it was, he kept it to himself.
Odin was the first to jump from his seat and wrap his arms around me, holding me tightly against his chest. His scent invaded my senses, erasing the past and showing me where my future was.
Zeus got up and wrapped Odin and me in his arms. Even more comfort swarms my body, but something is missing. I peek my head around Odin and lock eyes with Midas. I can see the internal battle he is waging. Wanting to give comfort but unsure how.
I wiggle way out of Odin and Zeus’s grips and rush over to Midas. I lock my arms around his neck and press my body against his. He goes rigid for a moment, unsure of what to do before slowly wrapping his arms around me and holding me close to him. A contented sigh leaves his lips, and he nuzzles his head into my hair.
The rest of the day was spent in their embraces. Watching movies and relaxing. We told each other some stories about our lives, which was harder for me than I would have liked. Most of my memories involving Evan and Cleo, and I didn’t want to walk down that particular memory lane.
I listened as the guys told me more about their childhood. Their fathers were more involved in the club than in raising them, so Pops took over that. Zeus recalled memories of the two of them rebuilding old cars and motorcycles together. He even has one of the cars that he and Pops rebuilt together in the garage at his home.
Odin talked about spending his time with Pops and his wife, learning how to cook. With his mom usually incapacitated because of her drug problem, Odin had to grow up too quickly. He needed to know how to fend for himself because no one else would help him. Except Pops.
Midas talked about the many conversations he and Pops shared. He taught him what being a leader was like. How important it was to guide and nurture those around you. To give a helping hand to anyone less fortunate than you. To be a better man.
“My greatest flaw in life is not living up to what Pops taught me.” Midas’s voice was thick with emotion. “When he died, it was like every good part of me died with him. My father got his claws into me, and I turned into him. I became exactly what he wanted. It’s the one thing I hate about myself the most.”
“You may have been that man, but that doesn’t mean you need to stay him.” I place my hand on Midas’s knee, giving him a reassuring squeeze. “That’s something I have learnt since moving here. We can choose to stay who we were. The version of ourselves that we hated. Or we can grow and become who we want. It just takes realizing that to make it happen.”
“And who do you want to be?”
“A queen.”
Serena
As the sun began its slow descent beyond the trees, the sky transformed into a canvas painted with hues of orange, pink, and gold. A gentle breeze caressed the surface of the lake, creating ripples that danced with the fading light. Sitting by the water's edge, I found a small semblance of solace in the embrace of nature that I haven’t been able to feel for what feels like weeks.
The world seemed to pause in this moment of serene perfection. A sense of calm was washing over me that had been lost in the turbulence that had become my life. I never could have imagined my life turning into what it has. The danger that seems to always be right around the corner, no matter what I do.
I breathe in the fresh air, holding it in my lungs, and close my eyes. I needed to escape the town that houses all my best dreams and my worst nightmares.
I dangle my feet off the dock, swaying them just above the cold lake water. My hands gripping the dock tightly, like it is the only thing holding me up in this moment. My thoughts are swirling from the last few days.
After the guys left my house on Sunday to go to another meeting at the clubhouse with their fathers, things have only seemed to get weirder. If that is even possible at this moment. Zane, Ryker, and Axel have disappeared. No one knows where they went or when they will be back. Not that it matters to me, the longer they are gone, the better. But unease has been constantly coursing through me at the unknown of where they have gone. It has been three days since they left, and every day, paranoia creeps in more and more.
The Kings haven’t left my side since their dad’s disappearing act, clearly worried about the same things I am, even though none of us have voiced our concerns. But I can see it in their eyes. They are constantly looking over their shoulders, wondering if/when an attack could happen.
I called Dante and told him. He begged me to come and stay with him, but I can’t just leave my life. I have school, friends, and my mom. I can’t just escape into the safety of his home and leave everything behind. It was tempting, but I refuse to give up and pieces of my life again. I did that for too long before, and I won’t this time.
Dante promised that Marco would investigate where they possibly could have gone, but so far there have been no traces of them anywhere. No bank transactions. No surveillance camera footage of them. Nothing. It’s like they just fell off the face of the earth.
