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He nods. “You didn’t want to be. That’s not the same thing.”
The room’s quiet, but it’s not cold. It feels like something settling. Rebalancing.
I can feel him through the bond now - more than just a presence.
It’s like I’m learning him by instinct: the shape of his patience, the edge of his protectiveness, the calm that wraps itself around my panic like a shield.
“You felt that?” I ask.
His voice is softer now. “Yeah. Felt the shift.”
“So this is how it works?”
He doesn’t answer right away. Just reaches out, fingers brushing mine, slow and solid.
“It’s howwework,” he says.
And suddenly, I’m not spiraling. I’m not falling.
I’mhere. With him. With all of them. And the weight in my chest feels…shared.
I slump back against the pillows again. “Okay,” I exhale. “But if anyone from the OMB shows up, I’m hiding behind you and pretending to be a houseplant.”
Ash’s lips twitch. “Fine. But I’m charging you for emotional labor.”
“Rude.”
“Reasonable.”
I close my eyes, just for a second, and this time when I breathe, it doesn’t feel like a war.
“And you're not... You’re notmad?” I ask.
“Why would I be?”
“For... all of it. For how fast it happened. For wanting you. For wanting them too.”
His fingers brush the back of my hand. “You didn’t take anything that wasn’t offered. You didn’t force a bond. You didn’t run. Youchose.”
And somehow, that makes it easier to breathe again.
I don’t smile. I don’t cry.
But I stop fighting myself long enough to rest.
And for now, that’s enough.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Ash
Her heat's easing.
Not gone - she’s still giving off that molten, sugar-slick scent like a candle left too close to the fire alarm - but manageable. The kind of manageable where nobody’s actively growling or trying to punch walls.Progress.
She's asleep now, curled into me like her body finally remembered what peace feels like, even if mine hasn’t.
Every nerve I’ve got is still on edge. Not from danger. Not from threat.
