But none of that mattered because the hard truth was that all things end. Even if Finnwasgay and they made it far enough to have a relationship, they’d eventually break up. And if they didn’t, if they stayed together until they were old and gray, one of them would die. How could Ollie allow himself to begin a long journey with someone, fall for them, and make them a part of his life when the destination was only despair?
But as he looked into Finn’s warm brown eyes, eyes he wanted to look into again and again, he couldn’t say no. His lips refused to form the word. Instead, they betrayed him.
“Sure.” He held out his hand for Finn’s phone, feeling like he was jumping out of a plane without a parachute. “I’d like that too.”
“Good morning, lovelies!” Ollie grinned at the corner of the room, where his phone sat perched on a tripod. Over the last four days, he’d made significant headway unpacking so his surroundings were nearing approval, serving as a stunning background for his livestream. “Olleelicious here! Broadcasting from my new place.” He swiveled his hand at his bedroom like he was a hostess on a game show, the draped sleeve on his pink robe swishing perfectly. “I promise, I’ll post some before and aftersanda room tour soon. But first, I’m having lunch with my bestie today. As you can see, my makeup is already on.” Ollie gestured up and down his face; he’d used soft natural tones and put a hint of fox liner on the outer edges of his eyes. “I’ll be posting a tutorial for this look tonight but I haven’t picked an outfit yet and I thought, why not ask all of you for help?”
Leaning in with a smile, he read the scroll of comments that moved up the screen at a breakneck pace, hearts and flowers flowing around them.
“Aww, thank you, RihannnaLuver93 I’m glad you like the room. And yes, Lashes4Dayyys I did my usual curl routine today. You can find it pinned at the top of my profile and it’s also under my haircare playlist. Oh my god, GayesttGayy thank you for the super big rose!” With a wink, Ollie blew a kiss at the camera and the comments moved even faster. He had drawn a larger audience than usual but he hadn’t updated since the move so his followers were hungry for content.
Turning to the bed, which had several ensembles laid out on it, he chose one, holding it by the hanger and twisting it so everyone could see the front and back.
“First off, we have this combo from Hella Kewt. I love the tangerine color of the top, as well as the scoop neck and puffy sleeves. Plus, the fabric is divine.” He smoothed his hand over it. “The pants are denim with a violet swirl up the right leg and they’re oversized, which is so on-trend right now.” He hadn’t bought them that way. They’d been a little loose when he’d ordered them months ago but they were stupidly big now.
He placed the outfit back on the bed, grabbing the next one, showing it to the screen. “Second is this combo from Bang Bang. The sweater is super soft and I really like the geometric pattern.” Ollie turned it back and forth, displaying a design of twisted pastel shapes. “You’d think that the pink and white plaid pants would clash but they kind of complement each other.” But maybe he was wrong because a sea of frowning and puke emojis littered the screen. “Okay, I guess this one’s out.” He placed it off to the side.
“And the third and final selection is giving retro seventies vibes.” Ollie lifted his all-black last choice. “I thrifted a lot of this. The pants are corduroy with a flare at the bottom and the knit top has been adjusted at the collar by yours truly.” Ollie had spent hours picking at it until it looked flawlessly jagged. “Since it’s monochromatic, I’m going to accessorize with this magenta peacoat because of the matching corduroy on the elbows.” He showed off one of his favorite pieces of outerwear, something he’d stolen from Biz’s closet ages ago. “And my gold and black scarf with gold gloves.” He flashed them at the camera.
“So, what’s the verdict?” Picking up outfits one and three, he held them on either side of him, a buzz of excitement running through his veins. He loved livestreaming, sharing his life with an audience who adored him; after being invisible for so many years the attention was heady and strangely validating.
Shaking both hangers, he peered at the comments and raised the black outfit. “Number three is the winner! Thank you, lovelies, I would have agonized over this for hours. You’re all gems.” He blew more kisses at the phone. “And can you believe my lunchtime bestie doesn’t have any social media?” He placed the clothes back on the bed and put his hands on his hips, shaking his head in mock exasperation. “If I have anything to say about it, he’ll at least have an Instagram by the time lunch is over so check my stories to add him to your follow list.” He waved at the camera, bouncing up and down. “I hope you all have a spectacular day and don’t forget to like and follow. This is Olleelicious reminding you that you’re all beautiful!” It was hypocrisy, telling his followers to believe in themselves when he still had trouble with his reflection.
Reaching for the phone, he stopped the feed, getting lost in the stats and answering a few comments and private messages before noticing the time.
If he didn’t hustle he was going to be late for his first meetup with Liam.
“I think shopping should be a sport. An Olympic sport!” Ollie announced, putting his bags on the chair next to him as he and Liam settled down for lunch. Ollie had chosen a quaint restaurant off the town’s main concourse; its vegetarian menu consisted of clean organic foods, and according to the reviews, any changes Ollie requested would be honored. Decorated in cottage-chic, the place was mostly exposed beams with cushioned wooden seats and since it had just opened for the day, the two of them were the only customers inside.
“If it was, then you’d get the gold medal.” Liam jutted his chin at his own pile of parcels. “I’m exhausted. I don’t know how you do it.”
“You have to stretch first.” Ollie waved his arms, mimicking a warm-up, and Liam giggled. “But really, I’m just getting started. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.”
Liam put his head in his hands. “I think I’m good. I bought enough clothes to last me years!”
“One can never have enough clothes, Li Li. Or shoes.” Ollie scrolled through the gallery on his phone, selecting a picture of Liam in shiny blue pants and a black shirt strewn with buckles. “And you’re so gorgeous that everything looks good on you. It’s not too late to go back and get that buckle shirt too.” Attaching the photo, Ollie shot Liam a text.
Dropping his hands, Liam checked his cell and squinted at it. “I look ridiculous! It would be much better on you.”
“I already have one like that. Besides, it’s all about confidence, how you carry yourself. Like I said, you’re beautiful, you could pull off a burlap sack with the right accessories.” Ollie shook his phone. “Which is why we’re making you an Instagram right now.”
“Shouldn’t we pick out something to eat first?” Liam began to study the menu and Ollie pretended to do the same. He’d researched the place online and only two items were allowed. The spring rolls with no sauce, and the arugula salad without cheese and dressing.
Once the waiter took their orders, Ollie grabbed the seat next to Liam and held out his hand expectantly. “Okay, it’s social media time.”
“I’m not new to this, Ididhave an Instagram in high school but I deleted it.” Liam handed his cell to Ollie. “Sorry, my phone is ancient.”
“Not a problem. Good, it’s downloading the app.” Once it was done, he handed Liam the phone back. “Pick a screen name and password.”
“Should I use Li Li?” Liam gave him a cheeky smile and began to type away, the tip of his tongue poking from his lips. “How about OnlyOneShadeOfGray?”
“That’s adorable! And it’s not taken?” Ollie peered over his shoulder. “Nice! That’s perfect for you. Let me help you pick an icon.”
Since Ollie was a social media magician it didn’t take much time at all to start up Liam’s account and as he finished his lecture on the best methods of tagging photos, their food was being placed on the table.
“Let me give you a boost before we eat.” Ollie fluffed his hair, grabbed his own phone, and leaned into Liam, stretching his arm out in front of both of them as he pressed the record button. “Hello lovelies, I’m here with a special guest star - my bestie OnlyOneShadeOfGray. We’ve been out shopping for hours and I’ll post my haul tonight but first I’m going to need all y’all to givethislovely a follow, okay? I’ve linked his screen name below. Kisses!” Ollie checked it over, adding Liam’s handle. “Is it okay if I send this out? It’ll get you some followers.”
“It’s fine.” Liam reached for his burrito, taking a healthy bite, and Ollie moved to the opposite side of the table again, eyeing his food. It seemed in order. He picked up the spring roll, giving it a nibble.
