Page 43 of Feral Werewolves
“It turned me on,” she said with a shrug. “Turned mewayon when he said he’d die for me.”
“He would,” I said. “I would, too.” I felt the heavy truth of that inside me, and it was frightening. I didn’t think love was supposed to be like this, something that switched on instead of came over a person gradually. Maybe it was a werewolf thing. I tilted my head at her. “Why? Why would you give everything up to be here with us?”
“Same reason you’d die for me, I guess,” she said with a shrug. “Doesn’t feel like I have a choice about that.”
I shook my head slowly. That felt true to me, too, the lack of choice. So many things in my life, ever since the Change, so many things had been like that. Choices ripped away from me, my freedom gone.
“I don’t think it’s all that different than most people think. It’s like with family,” she said. “You protect your children, your parents, your siblings… why? You just do.”
“Not always,” I said. “You have a choice.”
“Well, it’s not as if we don’t have any choice,” she said. “Icould leave right now. I did decide to come here, after all. But if I choose that, I think it might kill me.”
I drew back.
“Not literally,” she said. “Kill something inside me, some spark or something? I don’t know if I’d ever recover. I met this guy at the bar the other night, and he told me his ex-wife was a tithe. I think, when she wasn’t a tithe anymore, she stopped going to the gatherings, but some part of her had been left out here, on the other side of the walls. I don’t think she’ll ever get that part of herself back. And I don’t want that to be me.”
The coffee was done.
I poured her cup first. There was fresh cream in the refrigerator. We had a cow. One, which was enough, really. If you ended up with too many cows out here, it ended up being a headache, because the government would start forcing you to sell milk to various private companies and stuff.
It was a whole big issue, what with most of the farmland in the country being in werewolf territories. Some of it had been preserved and walled off, but feeding the people in the cities was a priority, and werewolves weren’t allowed to refuse to do it if the government asked. It was best to not do too well at anything out here. If you excelled, someone noticed you, and you were essentially punished for excelling.
I got her some of that and then I went looking for the sugar. We did get a sugar ration, but none of us liked sugar in our coffee.
She looked at my cup as I searched through the cabinets. “You drink it black?”
“Yeah,” I said.
She laughed. “Right. Too tough for anything else.”
“That’s not why,” I said. “I know the sugar is up here somewhere.”
“It’s okay,” she said. “I don’t need sugar.”
“Yes,” I said, “you do.” I found it, triumphant. I handed the bag of it over, grinning affectionately down at her. “Youneed all the sweet things, Clementine. You definitely do.”
She blushed, ducking down her head. “I don’t mean to make you fuss over me.”
“Yeah, well, get used to it.” I set the sugar down.
She stirred sugar into her coffee.
“That enough?” I said. “Just one teaspoon?”
She giggled. “Yes. Geez. You want to fatten me up?”
“Will it all go to your thighs and tits like it does now?” I said huskily.
She looked up at me, biting down on her lower lip. “You like my thighs?”
“Fuck yes.”
She stirred her coffee, just gazing at me. “Well… well, that’s a first.” She closed up the bag and handed it over.
“You have some other jackass man in your past who didn’t like the way you look?” I practically growled it.
“I mean, no, I’ve never really had a boyfriend or anything,” she said. “There were some comments sometimes, from not-so-nice people in my high school and shit.”
