Page 32 of Feral Werewolves
lazarus
I CLENCHED MYhands into fists to keep from touching her. I would have liked to gather her into my arms or to have her perched on my lap. She was small and soft and rounded and lovely. I didn’t think I’d ever seen a more perfect woman.
The mating shit was no joke.
She was sitting alone on one of the couches in our living room, and the three of us were standing up and staring at her.
“I don’t believe in the mating stuff,” she said. “I already said that I don’t want to move in. I don’t want to live out here.”
“So, what you’re saying is that you broke the law to come into exile territory and then happily sucked Kestrel, let Paladin fuck you, and got yourself off on my leg, and that’s just normal behavior for you.”
She looked away.
“Youarebehaving erratically,” I said.
“It’s because I’m a tithe,” she said. “I’ve been behaving erratically for a while now.”
“If you can believe in the tithe stuff altering your behavior, then you can believe in the mating stuff,” I said. “Because it’s all the same thing. That’s why tithes exist. Tithes are mate potentials. You get horny on full moons, and the reason is so that you’ll find a wolf to bond to. Or more than one in this case.”
She looked up at me, eyes widening. “What?”
“Look, it’s just a theory,” I said. “But I think it makes sense. Why else would it happen like it does? Female wolves, wild animal wolves, go into heat, you know, sothat’s what tithes do. Same kind of thing, really.”
She thought about it. “I’ve read theories that the werewolves are just some evolutionary adaptation, people speculating that evolution isn’t gradual, that it works in bursts. I don’t know what I think about that. If that’s the case, then what does that mean about the regular people? If this is the next stage of evolution, does that mean…?”
“Look, nothing means anything,” I said. “Especially with evolution. Things adapt, but there’s no plan or something. It’s just chaos, random chaos, and sometimes you get the short end of chaos.”
She let out a breath and nodded, seeing this as true.
“So, you steer clear of us, and we’ll steer clear of you,” I said. “It’s better for everyone, but especially you. We didn’t have a choice to be out here, but you do have a choice. Don’t throw your life away on this.”
Her lips parted. She got up off the couch, wrapping her arms around her body. “Except what if I don’t have a choice either?”
“You do,” I said. “Paladin says you want to be a lawyer or something, so that’s got to be a lot of schooling, and you can’t do that—”
“No,” she said. “I can’t. And it wouldn’t work longterm. I said before that maybe, just during the six months that I’m being affected during the full moons, I could sneak out here like this, but if what you’re saying is true, Paladin—” She turned to him. “Then if I do that, I’ll probably be altered permanently. Or maybe I already am. We won’t know about that for months, I guess.” She shifted on her feet. “Unless I’m pregnant.”
“You’ll terminate if that’s the case,” I said.
Kestrel made a noise.
“No, I thought I would if it happened,” she said.
Women often didn’t. Pregnancy meant she didn’t need to come to the gatherings. If she had an abortion, the need would come back the next full moon, and sometimes, it seemed to prolong the number of months that she was affected. I knew about that. Lots of women thought awerewolf baby in their belly was a ticket out of the whole thing. Of course, those kids weren’t old enough for us to know if they were all going to shift into wolves, too.
“None of that matters, though,” she said. “What I’m saying is that this is justhappeningto me, like you said. The short end of chaos. I didn’t ask to be a tithe. I didn’t ask to be obsessed with all three of you. I don’t have any control over it.”
“You can fight it,” I said.
“Right,” she said. “Like you’re fighting being a werewolf? That working out for you?”
I flinched as if she’d slapped me.
“She can’t be here, regardless,” said Kestrel. “We all know the situation with Griff is tenuous and we all know that it won’t be safe for her out here. And we all know that if someone tried to take her from us, we’d happily go to our deaths stopping that.”
Her eyes widened. She stared at him, frightened by that.
Kestrel bowed his head.
