Page 19 of Feral Werewolves
I’d still be able to communicate with them, at least somewhat. Wolves did have access to the internet, and some even had cell phones—usually these were paid for by their families, though. It was like having a child in jail, having a wolf out in exile. Families did what they could to take care of them, of course, because that was what you did for people you cared about.
I didn’t like the idea of being dependent on my father in that way forever. I didn’t like not having money or a job. I didn’t like the idea of leaving school most of all.
I was studying to be a lawyer. I had a plan, and it involved a lot of schooling, but it was worth it. Giving up on it now, especially to be a mate to some wolfmen in the woods, it was not my idea of a future.
Not to mention, I didn’t evenbelievein this mating nonsense, especially not to three wolves at once.
The first time I found out about mating, it was one of those weird documentary series that always seem to show up on the streamers about this sort of thing. I don’t think it was the one where the camera crew all got ripped to shreds by wolves on a full moon while they were filming, though. That one ended up focusing more on the fact that there were lots of weird factions out there in werewolf territory and that the wolves were all practically at war with each other, that there was a lot of aggression.
But everyone knew that already.
Anyway, this was about some woman who seemed legitimately psychologically damaged, in my fifteen-year-old opinion. Of course, I was doing a lot of work psychoanalyzing my stepmother at the time, so take all this with a grain of salt.
This woman became a tithe right after she’d gone through this awful breakup. I think she had maybe even been left at the altar during her wedding, or at least, she’d had some kind of broken engagement. But whatever, she talked about this in that way that people talk about things where they want to delude themselves into thinking that, like, there’s some grand plan for them written out by the universe, right?
Like, oh, yes, there was a reason I went through the pain of this breakup and it was because I was destined to be a werewolf broodmare.
Because, she had three kids and was pregnant again in the documentary, and they were raising these children out there in the exiled world, so they weren’t going to school or anything, and it was all a big, fat mess, everythingaboutit.
Personally, I was not going to go out into the woods and become one of those crazy people who believed in true love conquering everything or that the mystical universe had a plan for me and it was that I was fated to have a gazillion werewolf babies.
On the other hand, I thought about the werewolves all thetime.
I had noticed, since coming back from the gathering, that regular men had stopped looking attractive to me, even the ones who were hairy and huge, even the ones I’d been attracted to during the roaming phase. I had noticed that it was impossible for me to get off using my typical masturbatory tools and fantasies.
I usually just pretended stuff, and it was fairly standard, like some hot guy from one of my classes gets stuck outside my house and there’s a snow storm and his clothes are all wet and we have to put them in the dryer and—
If I got bored with stuff like that, I would sometimes read free erotica on the internet, and that would typically be a little bit more adventurous.
But none of it, even the balls-to-the-walls erotica that wasusually too much for me, was enough anymore.
On the other hand, if I switched to remembering any one of my wolves’s cocks, it was essentially over in seconds.Boom. Orgasm city.
And I wanted to masturbate a lot since becoming a tithe, so I was feeling frustrated about this.
I took to the internet, and it told me that this was the first sign of being mated.
But.
Bullshit.
There was no such thing as mating.
It didn’t happen anywhere in the animal kingdom. Animal-wolves sure as fuck didn’t mate.
Okay, they did.
They actually tended to mate for life.
But it wasn’t some mystical fate thing decreed by magic or some shit.
It wasn’t meant to be.
It was like when humans picked a mate and we tended to stay with that person. We picked someone who seemed pretty good, and we settled down with them and then a bond formed, and the bond was strengthened by having children and all of that. But it could be broken for various reasons, if necessary, and wolves were the same way.
I did not believe that I was, like, meant for these men who had—let’s face it—had really rough sex with me that I wouldn’t have evenlikedif I hadn’t been altered by whatever happened to my body on the full moon when I was a tithe.
I was not going to give in to this urge within me.
