Page 57 of Reconcile
“It didn’t go that far. But it was just as bad. I can’t make excuses for it, Piper. It was fucked up. I wanted to push you away. I knew you were too good for me.”
“That’s stupid.”
He laughs humorlessly, dragging fingers through his hair. “Clearly, I wasn’t wrong.” His tortured eyes meet mine. “When you told me you loved me, I fucking panicked. All of a sudden, I saw your future go up in flames.”
“You weren’t that bad, Sawyer.”
“I wanted to fight against everything we knew. I wanted to burn that fucking notion of becoming my father to the ground. But I didn’t want you to go up in flames too.”
“So, you pretended to sleep with my sister.” It’s not a question. It’s a fucking mess, though, and too much for my muddled brain to wrap around at the moment.
“I ran into her at that party. She was upset. I was upset after a really shitty week where my father reminded me nonstop of how worthless I was and how he wanted Spencer with Paisley.”
I know his father was hard on him, as was Spencer. “You could have talked to me.”
He laughs again and brushes it off. “Now, that would have been the mature, smart thing to do, Piper. That never would have occurred to me.”
“Don’t do that.”
“What?” His eyes are locked on mine, and he looks so damn vulnerable.
“Put yourself down. That was your father and Spence. I saw more.”
“You loved me.”
My heart clenches tightly in my chest, and a single tear escapes and slides down my cheek. “I did.”
“You were young and naïve.”
“Fuck you, Sawyer.” My words have no malice behind them. He’s already beaten down, and I don’t really want to knock him down further.
“You shouldn’t have.” He looks nearly distraught as he reaches for my hand, and I let him take it. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry for so many things.”
He is. I can feel it.
I don’t think it’s an act. I think Spencer is an ass.
“We can be friends.”
A small laugh escapes his mouth. “Okay.”
“Okay.” I shake his hand in agreement, and he smiles, shaking back.
Friends.
35
PIPER
“You okay? You seem a little...” Viv searches for the right word and lands on, “tired.”
I smile at her as I watch Audrey run down the hall to go find Baz. “I’m okay. Just...” I sigh, “Sawyer and I are working on being friends.”
She smiles but thankfully, doesn’t say what I’m sure she’s thinking. “Friends.”
I think about the way he held my hand last night and how we agreed to be friends. “Yes. Friends. I want to forgive him, but I’m afraid to forget the past and get crushed again.”
Her eyes are kind as she listens. “How long do you have before you need to leave for work?”
