Page 18 of Chase
The bed dips and I feel the weight of him move across the mattress. Keeping my eyes closed, I’m not ready to deal with the real world just yet. He scoots closer and puts his arm around me. I don’t freak out when he touches me this time. All week there have been small touches here and there.
I don’t know how I’d react if I couldn’t see him, but so far I’ve only freaked out on him that once.
Throwing caution to the wind, I decide to allow myself this moment. Chase makes me feel safe and I feel shitty after my episode today.
I can’t believe I let that happen. I’ve never had it completely under control, but I don’t crash like that often. The stress of everything finally catching up to me, I pull myself as close to Chase as I can get. His arm tightens around me. I inhale again, this time not hiding it and smelling him directly.
“Did you just sniff me?” He whispers close to my ear, his breath tickling my cheek.
“Mmhmm.” No point hiding it.
“Creep,” he chuckles squeezing me tight.
I open my eyes to find us blanketed in darkness.
Shit! What time is it? How long have I been asleep? Where’s Millie? I shoot up out of his arms as panic sets in. Immediately I’m missing his warm embrace.
“What’s the time? How long have been asleep? Where’s Millie?” In the distance I hear her laugh. I relax a little, but I think that is more because he has started gently rubbing my back.
“Relax, it’s okay. It’s just after six. You’ve been asleep for almost five hours. Millie is in the kitchen making brownies with Rhys. Millie and I took it in turns checking on you. But you had started to stir when I came in, so I wanted to wait to see if you woke up.” He doesn’t stop rubbing my back, but he does increase the pressure slightly.
I slept for five hours. I haven’t slept that long in years. Before the night terrors came back I was still only managing three to four hours a night.
I have a feeling that Chase may be the reason for that. I’m not ready to admit that to myself. What if I hurt him? What if this ends up amazing and I don’t want to leave next year? I didn’t plan for these feelings. They bulldozed me.
“Millie is cooking with Rhys?” This surprises me. Rhys is the one I haven’t had a lot of interaction with, but I do notice the daggers he shoots my way sometimes. I didn’t peg him for the type to bake with a fifteen year-old girl.
“Yeah, Ally started to help her, but we don’t let Ally in the kitchen. EVER. She once burnt boiling water. She’s a lot of things; a cook is not one of them.”
“After five minutes of them in the kitchen, Rhys stormed in, removed Ally from the room, and they’ve been in there ever since.”
This makes me laugh. I just can’t see it. My body has relaxed again thanks to his comforting touch and voice.
“Ally went with Millie earlier to get you some clothes. I’ve been meaning to ask, did you buy Ms Turner’s house?” He nods to the end of the bed where I can make out of pile of clothes.
“Not exactly, she was my grandmother. I didn’t know her though. My dad wasn’t close with her.” I move to the end of the bed, ready to get out of these coveralls and into something a little more comfortable.
I keep my back turned and shuffle out of my coveralls; it’s dark Chase can’t see much.
I hear him audibly gasp. My guess is he can see a little in the dark. I feel him come up behind and I brace myself for his touch. I know what he’s going to do before he does it.
Ever so slightly he touches my back and follows one of the scars. They have finally started to heal, but at the moment they are still raised and a purple colour. They aren’t big but there are quite a few of them scattered on my back.
I shiver, not because he’s touching my scars but because I like the way it feels.
Reaching behind me I blindly grab at the pile of clothes, silently thanking Millie as I pull my hoodie over my head and then step into what I can only assume is a pair of my pjs judging by the feel of them.
I leave my socks on and don’t even bother with my hair. I can’t imagine what I look like. But I really need to see Millie and make sure she’s okay. I need to know how disappointed she is that I wasn’t there this afternoon and that girl’s night is cancelled.
Turning around I fall into Chase’s hard chest.
“What happened?” He asks quietly. I let him hold me again. I don’t know the last person I let hold me who wasn’t Millie or Smalls. Dad hasn’t hugged me since Mum died. Not even after the incident when all I needed was some comforting arms.
It’s nice. Safe. I ignore his question. I’m not ready to talk about it. I don’t want it to change the way he looks at me.
“Can I see Millie? I need to make sure she is okay. I feel terrible that I let her down.”
Chase turns me around and gently pushes me towards the door.
