Page 11 of Chase
I’d be an idiot to try and hide these feelings. I want to hold onto them tight. I want to experience good. For so long it has just been Millie and me. I wonder what it’s like to have friends my age. If anything happens though, I need to make sure everyone knows that Millie will always be my priority.
“Look, I’m just going to be honest with you. I understand what you’re trying to say Arden, but I don’t know what I can say to put your mind at ease. I’m in a new town, and I don’t know anyone. I’ve never had friends my own age.” I wait for him to comment but he doesn’t.
“This is new to me. I can’t deny there was an instant attraction with Chase, and I like Ally. She’s funny and makes me laugh. I need to laugh, Arden, otherwise I’ll lose myself again. But I can’t let you all in. I can’t let you in because what if you hurt me? Or worse what if I hurt Chase, Ally, You? Even Rhys? I won’t do that to you guys. It’s clear you’re like family. I don’t want to ruin that. I have my sister Millie to focus on, she needs me, and I need to be there for her as much as I can until I leave for Uni next year. This scares me as much as it scares you.” I swipe a lone tear off my cheek, ducking my head so he doesn’t see.
I was brutally honest; I meant every word I probably should have held back a little. I’m scared and I just let him peek into my world. Now he will think I’m crazy and never let me near his friends again.
Chapter Five
Chase
I slide out from under the car I’m doing an oil filter change on and look over at Yasmin and Arden. They look deep in conversation; she looks a little off though. Something isn’t right.
I will hurt Arden if he upset her.
It’s her first day for fuck’s sake. Give the girl some space.
I couldn’t argue with him when he walked off with her. Not until I can figure out what this is and what it means. I watch Yasmin swipe a tear off her cheek when she thinks Arden isn’t looking at her.
I see it.
It seems I see everything. Including the slight shake of her shoulders as she tries to hold back her tears.
I decide I’ve had enough of shop class. There’s only fifteen minutes left anyway.
I let Mr Williams know that I’m getting changed and will walk Yasmin back to get changed before the bell rings and the bathroom fills with people.
Neither Yasmin or Arden see me approach. I place my hand on her shoulder and she jumps up and away, startled. Her eyes furiously take in her surroundings and when she realises it was me, I see her try and calm herself down.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you,” I say approaching her with caution. Holding my palms up so she can see them. She doesn’t talk.
It’s almost like she can’t.
“Can I walk you to the bathroom to get changed?”
She looks around the room again. She nods ever so slightly. I almost miss it.
I can see Arden take in what is happening.
“Why don’t you guys meet us at our table? I’ll grab us lunch.” Arden says. Yasmin just nods again.
“Sounds good. I’ll see you soon.” I close the distance between us and touch her arm carefully, so I don’t startle her again.
When she doesn’t jump, I quickly grab her bag from the ground and then lead her out of the room.
Once we’re outside, I stop and turn to face her.
“Are you okay?” I can see the wall she had up this morning firmly in place. I want her to let me in again. I want to see her pain and so I can help take it away.
It takes a moment, but after a few calming breaths she finally responds. “Yeah, sorry about that.” Her voice is soft and scared.
“I didn’t mean to scare you.” I tell her honestly.
“I know, it’s not your fault. I’m just a little jumpy,” she says finally meeting my gaze.
In that moment I can feel everything she is. She hasn’t always been this way. Something has happened.
I want to help her.
