Page 57 of The Hidden Guardian

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Page 57 of The Hidden Guardian

What I want to tell her, though, is that time is not on my side.

ChapterTwenty-Nine

AUTUMN

The stain of the blood petals still won’t come off my hands as I roughly scrub them in the sink. The training was going great with Onai, until today. It was all fun and intriguing until now. Until I lost control.

The creak of the door breaks the sound of the water and I freeze. My hands hover over the water as Renall and Onai growl at each other. I wish I knew what they were saying sometimes. But Onai calls out goodbye to me and shuts the door behind her before I even turn off the water.

I pause at the curtain, my hand hovering before it. This will be the first time I have seen Renall since our forty-eight hour orgasmathon. Truth is, I’ve been thinking about him all day. I’m starting to understand why the wolves and Guardians are always mating all over the cave. My legs clench just thinking about him between them now. So many times last night I wanted to give in to him, to have him enter me and damn all the consequences—including tying my life to this cave. But something, something stopped me each time.

My hand grips the curtain and I slide it across.

Renall stands a few feet from me, his eyes lock with mine as soon as my hand drops. The look in his eyes is feral. He’s rock-hard already. It appears he has been thinking about me too.

My mouth runs dry as blood rushes to my ears. I flush with heat as gravity pulls us together. My heart leaps into my chest and I lunge for him. Pulling his lips desperately to mine. We fall together onto the couch. My legs on either side of him as his grip loosens and trails lower down my backside. I groan, biting his bottom lip slightly. That’s when he flips me, pinning me under him. His skin is hot under my fingertips as they trace their way over the ridges of his abs. I follow the trail of hair leading lower. I’m reaching for his growing member when the screams come. We pause, lingering in the air centimeters from each other before we both face the door.

Screams echo again, desperate this time, and crescendos in a shriek that never ends.

Without thought, Renall and I dash out the door. On the ledge we can see that the scouts have returned. Whispers and growls echo around the cave. Something is wrong. The shriek ends and starts anew. It echoes unending pain. Renall grabs my hand as we run around the ledge, down two flights of stairs, and scramble onto the cave floor. A crowd has festered like weeds around the returning scouts, blocking them from sight. Wolves and Guardians line the edges of the levels above us too, I notice as we slowly approach the gathering crowd. A few mild growls from Renall to some bystanders are returned only with a shrug or a nod.

“What’s going on?” I ask, but as the words are spoken, a clear line of sight opens. The scouts have returned out of breath; one young wolf has a slice down his leg, another is cradling a limp arm as the elder just hugs his Guardian, who is trembling and sobbing into his shoulder.

That’s when I realize there is onlythree. Three out of four returned. Renall breaks our connection, and rushes through the front of the crowd barking orders. I guess you can put the warrior on trial, but you can’t take the authoritative warrior out of him. It’s turning me on. He’s a born leader. Another wail breaks my reverie. I turn to notice the tear-streaked Guardian on her knees. It must be her wolf that did not return. My stomach turns over as I recall the days after Colton. Absolute loss and overwhelming sense of failure. I make my way to her and fall to my knees before pulling her into an embrace as she continues to sob on my shoulder. Renall successfully breaks up the crowd as Zev and Lupe appear.

They have a quick conversation with Renall before Lupe pulls the Guardian from my arms to her feet without a second glance at me.

“It’ll be okay,” she murmurs to her as she pulls her into the far hallway.

My skin prickles and heat slides down my spine. Renall is behind me. I reach for his hand. “Will she be okay?”

“No.”He sighs.“They were a soulbonded pair. Soul mates are extremely rare; when you find one, you will never know another.”

“But I received another wolf?” I question, tears stinging my eyes as my sense of loss and guilt rise up within me. For a little while I stopped thinking about Colton, for a little while Renall helped me forget my failures and gave me something to ease the grief. But it’s still here, hiding behind the curtain, waiting to remind me that I couldn’t save my brother. That I don’t deserve Renall. That I can fail him too. A tear strays down my cheek.

“I’m sorry,”he sighs, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me into an alcove away from the crowd. “You and your brother were not mates. I know what you are thinking, you are not responsible for his death, Awe-tum.”

I sob. “How do you know what I was thinking?”

“Because I’ve felt the same. I have experienced loss and death. I have led battles that lost lives that I feel responsible for. You cannot blame yourself for things out of your control. You can only learn from your mistakes and be a better version of yourself. That’s what Colton would have wanted.”

“I can’t. I feel so much … guilt. The last words I said to him …”

He pauses, letting me cry. Renall wipes away each tear before responding,“Tell me.”

And tell him I did. I did not hold back, I told him about our fight, about my brother changing right under my nose and I didn’t even notice. I told Renall about our plans and my sacrifices and how I should have just listened to him. He was crying out for help and I just shut him down again and again. I tried to fill the void of the loss of our Mother when I should have just been his sister, his friend.

When the crowds finally disperse and I cry my final tear, my voice is hoarse from talking. Renall wraps his arm around me and leads me back to our cave. He doesn’t try and undermine my feelings; he doesn’t try to convince me it’s all going to be okay. Renall listens and is there.

He pulls me onto his lap on the couch and he holds me until the wave of grief washes over me and eventually recedes.

* * *

A knock sounds at the door that causes Renall’s ears to prick up. Carefully sliding me to the side he kisses me on the forehead and rises to his feet.

I rise when Zev walks through the door, growling something to Renall. His fists are clenched at his side as their growling gets deeper. The bond trickles with confusion, almost defensive.

Then Zev shoves a crumpled paper into Renall’s chest and points at me. I rise as dread fills my gut. Renall’s fingers pry open the crumpled paper to reveal the first page of a newspaper. On the very front page, my employee photo from the Gun Lot is printed.


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