Page 30 of The Hidden Guardian
“I’m sorry … I didn’t mean to. I can’t control it.”
Ignoring me, he grabs a cloth from a ledge, wraps it around my chest, before lifting me up and onto the floor. His nose flinches slightly as he catches my scent. Damn, I need to replace my tampon before I cause another riot.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble again.
“Rr-ose,” he says, pulling me into a hug.
“Yeah, yeah, it’s a rose.” Thorns rise from the stems as white roses bloom. His English has gotten better, but still not enough to hold a conversation. “Still hazardous, but I guess it’s better than poison ivy.”
He carefully wraps me into a comforting hug. Closing my eyes, I rest my head on his chest. He’s warm, like a towel fresh out of the dryer. It’s nice on my cold wet skin. That’s when it hits me, I’m naked, he’s always naked, and the only thing between us is this tiny layer of cloth.
He must sense my change in demeanor because his muscles tense slightly, and the air in the room grows thick. My gut twists with desire.
I pull away slightly and our eyes meet. So many words we’re unable to say. What would I say anyway? That I’m attracted to him, to thank him for all he’s done for me, but I’m not in the mental place for a relationship right now. Especially since I’m still dealing with the guilt from my brother’s death and my failure to protect him from what was coming. How can I ever be expected to protect this ancient warrior? But I don’t say any of that because Renall’s warm fingers reach out and tuck a wet strand behind my ear and it causes me to lose my train of thought. His finger trails across my chin and the warmth makes a shiver run down my spine. Heat pools low in my belly. My eyes fly to his lips that are hiding in the edges of his beard. I’ve dreamt of what they felt like on mine. His lip quirks up in a knowing smile. This bond is really annoying sometimes, especially when my body is betraying my mind and sending him mixed signals.
He lowers his head and nods, leaving the bathroom alcove. I open my mouth to call him back, to close the gap between us and kiss him. But then I remember I’m in a strange place, surrounded by literal wolves who want me dead, and I need to keep my head. The last thing I need is to complicate things further.
After taking care of my feminine needs and dressing back into my sweatpants. I step outside. Renall is roasting me skewered meat over the fire. I swipe a bowl of fruit off the tray he must have brought in and curl up on the couch.
“It’s getting harder to control it,” I explain softly.
He pauses to look at me. I’m not sure he understands but he nods.
“Rokay?” he asks again.
“I don’t know.”
He nods again before pointing to the vines creeping out from behind the bathroom curtain. “Rrose rokay.” Not a question, a statement.
“The rose is okay,” I repeat.
He nods, placing the meat back onto the tray and places his hand on my leg. “Rardian is rokay.”
“Guardian is okay. Being a Guardian is okay? But what if I hurt you?”
He stares at me for a long second before snorting, “Many try.”
“Many try to hurt you?”
He nods. “RRren-all live.”
“You live, you survived. You’re saying that I can’t hurt you?”
He nods, smiling softly, before picking up his meat and roasting it again.
Maybe I can’t hurt him with a spontaneous vine of roses, but I can hurt him either with my indecision or by breaking his heart. What I do know is that this cave is different from anything I’m used to, its primitive laws, its kill-or-be-killed attitude, or its sheer lack of clothes. This place is affecting me in ways I don’t understand, and if I remain any longer, I’m afraid it might change who I am forever. But the longer I stare at Renall, I don’t have the words or the heart to explain that to him. I hope I don’t hurt him because I never want to hurt anyone again.
ChapterNineteen
AUTUMN
The cave is dark when I awaken with a start. My eyes scan my surroundings trying to decipher the sound. Something woke me. I heard something, something I know to be impossible. Something so familiar and so distant it had to be part of a dream. My head cranes, listening intently, but I hear nothing, not even the snores from Renall on the couch. That’s what makes me rise to my feet and take a few steps toward him. He’s lying in his usual spot across the length of the couch, his chest rising and falling, but no audible sound escapes him. Now that I’m thinking about it, even the hum of the cave is missing. There’s no moans or growls or vibrations that are usually echoing through on the air. The cave is silent. I hear it again. My name. It comes whispered on a phantom wind.
Autumn.
The voice is so familiar, I must still be dreaming.
Autumn, it’s farther away now, beckoning me to follow.
