Page 128 of Whiskey Wednesdays
“Ben talked to me too.”
“What about Connor and Elodie?”
I put the cookie back on the plate and took a long sip of lemonade. “I don’t know.”
“Talk to me.”
I sighed. “I’m scared, okay? And I’ll deny it if you tell Connor. Because you have a big mouth when it comes to him.”
“I only told him things when I thought it was for your own good.”
“Yeah, well stop it.”
“What are you scared of?” he asked.
“Of hurting Elodie. Or Connor deciding he could do better or needs more variety in a year or two. Of Amelia harming them because I’m in Connor’s life.” I glanced at him, and admitted my biggest fear. “I don’t want to start loving them, and then have it all ripped away.”
“You already do love them. And life is pain. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something.”
I stared at him. “Did you just quotePrincess Brideto me?”
He smiled a little. “Maybe. It’s still one of my favorite books. Do you think Elodie’s too young to enjoy it?”
“I’m glad you’re taking this seriously.”
“Oh, I am. I want you to be happy. And I also want grandkids, but the way you and Liam are going makes me think that’s never going to happen.” He leaned back and studied me. “Since your mom died, you’ve closed yourself off to avoid getting hurt. Maybe I have too.”
I didn’t deny it. “I miss her. Even now, I’ll see something and want to share it with her. And then I remember she’s gone.”
“Me too. But I wouldn’t trade the time I had with her for anything in the world. Whatever you decide, don’t let your fear of pain stop you from living.”
I left his house with a container of snickerdoodles and a lot to think about.
The next morning before I went into the clinic, I told Connor my apartment was habitable again.
He carefully set his coffee mug down. “Do you want me to go with you to pick up the rest of your things?”
“No. I’m moving back there while I finish up my clinical hours. Thank you for letting me stay here, even though I wasn’t very grateful at first.”
He started shaking his head, but I plowed on. “I’ll still come over, but me moving in with you was just temporary until myapartment got fixed. We both knew that. I’m not trying to break up–”
“No.”
“No, I don’t have two weeks left? Or no, you do want to break things off?”
“You’re not moving back there. Andfuck no, we aren’t breaking up. You already moved out once.” He lifted his eyebrow, daring me to argue.
Instead, I walked over and cupped his cheeks. “I need to do this. And you know why I moved out before. Now that Noah is in jail and my apartment is habitable again, it’s time.”
“Bella, you don’t.”
Sighing, I dropped my hands and told him the other reason. “Coach Bailey contacted the University and made a formal complaint against me because I’m seeing you. Me living here doesn’t help things.”
Connor’s eyes narrowed into slits. “You are fuckingkiddingme. How is this any of that asshole's business?”
“He said there’s a no fraternization policy. I got an email from my academic counselor this morning.” I shook my head. “Don’t worry. I’m going to ask Ben to email them and let them know the sports medicine clinic doesn’t have any issues with me.”
He gritted his teeth and looked up at the ceiling. “I’m fighting the urge to go beat the shit out of Bailey, then come back and throw you over my shoulder, take you back toourbed, and fuck you senseless.”
