Page 55 of Defend Me
Chapter 16
Tilian
As I stared up at the ceiling, I thought about how different this place was from what I was used to. It wasn’t textured like I usually saw. Instead, it was smooth and featureless. Plain. Unremarkable, even though the point was to be modern. It fit the aesthetic, I suppose, but it seemed weird that wealthy people somehow decided that ceiling texture was beneath them.
When I’d woken up, Brooks was asleep with his face tucked into my neck. If my bladder hadn’t been about to burst, I would’ve stayed there as long as possible. I wished I would have because he was gone when I came back.
I didn’t know where he went or how long I’d been here, lying horizontally on the bed and contemplating my existence. Long enough that my stomach had growled a few times. Not long enough for me to find the courage to meet Brooks’ eyes and see no indication that he was at all affected by this. By me.
It was pathetic that I couldn’t just take the hint. Regardless of what he might feel, he didn’t want to pursue anything. He’d made it clear that he wasn’t interested in a relationship. I would bring up my openness to something casual if I didn’t already feel a bit dejected. Besides, friends with benefits wasn’t known for ending well.
After last night, I just couldn’t shake the weird feeling I had about him. If he’d actually open up a bit, beyond the superficial show he put on, things might be different. I wondered if the games he played were less about enjoying them and more about necessity.
What was he hiding from all the time?
A loud crash made me sit up straight. I listened intently, but nothing else happened until a door slammed shut with jarring force. Too curious to sink back into my thoughts, I cracked the door and peered out.
I didn’t see anybody. There was something on the floor, which I assumed was the culprit for the noise I heard. It looked like it was broken and there were shards of it that had slid across the wood floor, all the way to the bedrooms.
Carefully, I stepped out. Upon further inspection, I discovered that it had once been a bong. A big one. If it had been an accident, I could understand the angry way he’d slammed the door.
As I rolled my teeth over my lip, I stared at the entryway. Was it weird to check on him? I doubted he needed to be consoled about a broken bong, but I was worried.
I stepped over the glass to get to the front door. After a moment’s hesitation, I opened it.
“Brooks?” I called softly.
There was nobody in the hallway and the elevator wasn’t moving. Not knowing where else he could be, I walked out and stopped in front of the door that led to the stairwell. There was a window on it, which gave me a glimpse of him walking up a flight of stairs. He returned to this floor, then did it again. After a few times, he leaned his forehead against the wall and held onto the back of his neck with both hands.
He probably wanted to be left alone, but that didn’t work for me right now. If he wanted me to go, he could tell me that.
He didn’t react when I opened the door or when it closed behind me. Tentatively, I moved closer.
“Brooks.”
“What do you want?” he asked in a more terse tone than usual.
I frowned. “I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
“There’s no reason I wouldn’t be.”
“That’s interesting. The glass minefield says otherwise.”
“It’s too fucking clean in there anyway.”
And this was what I meant about not being able to piece him together. Sometimes, he was contradictory. Other times, he was just plain mysterious. I wouldn’t go so far as to call him a liar, but it felt like he adapted himself based on who he was with at the time. The person who stood in front of me right now wasn’t one I’d seen. At least, not in its entirety. I’d managed to see glimpses of him when some of his control slipped, but he always put himself together too quickly for me to draw any conclusions.
“Will you tell me what’s wrong?” I asked.
He just shook his head and I watched his fingers grip his neck.
“We should get something to eat,” I suggested.
He took a shuddering breath and lifted his head. “I have to clean it up. If anyone saw it…”
He walked past me without a glance. I brushed my fingers through my hair before I followed him.
“What if someone saw it?” I prompted when I got inside.
