Page 187 of Return Policy
That’s exactly the reason I started therapy too.
“No, I’m ready. It’s just… I’m so sorry,” she whimpers. “I should have realized it wasn’t you. I should’ve known… I should have known it wasn’t you.”
Pulling away, I nudge her gaze to meet mine. “Please, explain.” My heart pounds against my rib cage. “Baby, I need you to explain because I pray to God what I’m thinking is worse than what he actually did.”
She takes deep breaths, composing herself, and I feel like I’m miles under the ocean as the pressure completely crushes me. “The night… the night when you came back and Seth had me against the wall…”
“Yeah?” I say, encouraging her to keep going.
She gnaws on her lower lip, avoiding my eyes. “When I woke up that night, you were in bed. You were touching me with your fingertips and kissing my body. It was so dark I couldn’t see, so I just enjoyed it. Enjoyedyou.” She swallows hard, and my skin prickles at her confession because I know she’s wrong. I did none of those things. “You went between my legs and… started…” I throw a hand over my mouth to hide my disgust.He wasn’t lying.Acid rises in my throat, and I’m trying not to show my fury out of fear she won’t continue.
“He finally spoke,” she croaks out. “And I realized it was him immediately. I kicked him in the face, and he flew off my bed.” Her entire body trembles, and I hold her tight. “That’s when the chaos started. And I turned on the light and found clothes because I felt exposed.” She lets out a shaky breath. “So exposed—and Seth wasn’t taking no for an answer. He said he wanted me back, and it was so confusing and disgusting.” Her entire body trembles, and I hold her tighter. “I really thought it was you.”
“I don’t blame you, baby. I would never blame you.”
“I should have known,” she says with pleading eyes. “I should haveknownit wasn’t you. I’ve been so worried you would be angry with me for not knowing.”
“Sophia.” I rub my thumb along her jaw. “The only person I’m angry with is Seth. If he weren’t already in jail, I’d fucking kill him with my bare hands right now.”
I still haven’t totally thrown out the possibility.
“You’re not mad at me?” she whispers, and my chest tightens at the knowledge she’s been carrying around this burden.
“Of course not. Sophia, I love you. And I’m so sorry that happened to you, and I’m so angry I wasn’t there to stop it. I’m so incredibly sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” she says weakly.
“I shouldn’t have come through your window,” I mutter to myself. “Then he never would have gotten in.”I want to throw a fist at the wall for this partially being my fault.“Is there anything else you want to tell me? I want us to have a clean slate so we can move forward—together.”
“No.” She shakes her head. “That’s everything.”
“I just…” My breathing is rapid, and I attempt to steady it. “I wish you would have told me before so you didn’t have to deal with this alone.”
“I wanted to tell you… but since you were playing Seth, I didn’t want you to be distracted. I knew it was an important game for you.” She clears her throat. “And then you got hurt…”
“Sunflower, I appreciate you trying to think about my game, but if you think for even one moment I would prefer you keep me in the dark so I can focus on the field, I haven’t done my job of proving to you just how much you mean to me.Youare the only thing I care about. If you have something on your mind, please, baby, please, don’t keep it from me. Okay?” She nods slowly. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I rub my hands up her thighs, careful not to venture up too high. “I’m so sorry for what he did to you.” She frowns, flicking her eyes away, and I tip her chin so she meets my gaze again. “I don’t want you to feel any pressure for us to be physical.”
Her brows furrow. “You don’t want to be physical?”
“What?” I scoff. “Baby, of course I do. But everything is at your pace.”
“We haven’t had sex in over a month,” she says as if I haven’t been counting the days.
“Okay? And I’ll wait as long as it takes for you to be ready. I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”
“Elijah, as of right now,he’sthe last person to touch me there.” She shivers, and a look of disgust crosses her face. “I need that to change.”
“Are you sure you’re ready?” I ask hesitantly.
“Please… Please show me you still love me.”
“Nothing could ever make me stop loving you, sweetheart.” I tilt my head, cupping her face in my hands.
“I was afraid you wouldn’t want me anymore,” she says, low and desperate. “That you’d be disgusted by me.”
